VERY Frustrated with SIL need to vent-LONG post
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|Fri, 08-15-2014 - 9:48am|
This is my first post here so bear with me please :)
A little background on me: I am in my early 40s, single, no children and I USED to have a nice job, stable life...until 2008, I lost my job and had to move in with my brother and sister in law. Like so many others, I'm sure, I now am 'stuck'....I DID look for work, anything I could get, but the state I live in was hard hit and is now just recovering. I am now going back to college so when I get back out there, I have (hopefully) a leg up in the job market.
So, here's my frustrating story:
My SIL and brother have 2 children, ages 5 and 2. I have been with both kids since birth - held them and cared for them straight from the delivery room. So as you can imagine, I am very close the the little ones. My brother works in law enforcement and works long, unpredictable hours. My SIL works with the school district but has summers off. In January, my brother and SIL suddenly called it quits and divorced so my brother is living elsewhere - not far, but I still don't see him much.
This summer has come and gone and I have been nothing but frustrated, mad, sad, lonely...you name it. All summer my SIL has been reading (let me digress...I love to read but there is a time/place) when I say she has just been reading I mean to the extreme. She wakes up, she has either a book or her ipad open and reading, during the day, same thing and before bed. I would not get so irritated with this IF she stepped up and helped me with HER kids. The kids will ask mommy a question and she completely ignores them. She doesn't do any housework nor cooks (never has-I am the one who cooks, cleans, and takes care of the kids) I even make my nephew's lunch for school (he's in summer school before starting kindergarten)SHe even calls them 'brats' to their face if they make noise and interrupt her reading. Since then, my nephew has now been calling is little sister a brat. I don't think that will go over too well in kindergarten when he calls someone a brat to their face, but they will have to deal with that bridge if it ever comes to that.
I ask my SIL a question, try to talk to her (you know, carry on an adult conversation), whatever and I have to repeat myself and call her name, to which then she looks up from her ipad, surprised and says, "huh"
I know this is SO VERY petty compared to what other problems there are but for years I have been enduring this and I fear I am getting to the brink, if not aleady there, to caregiver burnout. I could go on and on with some whopper of more stories with SIL but I will spare you.
I know there really is no sound advice out there, but what would you do i this situation or handle the SIL?
Also, my 2 year old niece is becoming more and more toddler-ish...naturally. Any parenting advice as to how to get her to listen to me since it appears I am the major caregiver?