Pets

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Pets
8
Fri, 08-31-2012 - 1:24pm

My cat is my baby.  I don't consider myself to be a crazy cat lady, but I've had this cat since I was in high school.  I can't imagine life without her.  So, knowing how I feel about my pet, I was really surprised when a close friend of mine announced that she and her husband were looking for a home for one of their dogs.  They just brought home a new baby a couple of weeks ago, and one of their dogs is having a hard time adjusting.  So, instead of trying to work through the issue, the solution is to automatically get rid of the dog who has been part of their family for about 7 years?  It makes me sad.  :smileysad:

Avatar for mrosie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2000
In reply to:
Fri, 08-31-2012 - 5:07pm

It is sad and not as rare as I think it should be for people to rehome their pets when a baby comes along. Not everyone has the dedication or willingness to put into getting a stubborn pet to adapt to a new family member.

DSIL and I don't see eye to eye on this. We pretty much quit hosting events at our house because our 4-y.o. niece is afraid of dogs and while I'm willing to help her get used to our dogs, I refuse to lock them up for hours at a time every time they come to visit.

DSIL also got huffy with us once because we wouldn't leave our dogs in the car for an hour in the middle of summer while she served everyone coffee. DH asked her how long she'd leave DN in the car in the heat and she said of course she wouldn't. He pointed out that our dogs are at as much risk of overheating as her daughter and it's our responsibility to care for them.

RoseAnn

Community Leader
Registered: 12-01-2001
In reply to:
Sun, 09-23-2012 - 10:56pm
Hi, Beanybabe.

My cat is my daughter, too.

The day I adopted her, a man was in the waiting room of the humane society with a large dog (I can't remember the breed) he was surrendering because he'd had a baby, and the wife demanded they get rid of the dog. My heart broke for the dog, and the guy looked pretty miserable as well. I didn't pry, but I wondered how much he'd stood up for the dog. It appeared quite a bit, and I prayed someone adopted the dog soon afterward.

Anyway, I, too, am very saddened when people get rid of pets nonchalantly after having children. Adopting a pet is (or should be) a huge commitment. Lifelong, even. What gets me most is people I hear about who adopt a pet as a test to see if they're ready for a human. And then, presumably, the pet is forgotten after the human arrives. Just borrow a human baby if you need to test yourself! Thank goodness none of my friends have done this with their pets, or they wouldn't be friends any more.

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Community Leader
Registered: 12-01-2001
In reply to: ivh_lion
Sun, 09-23-2012 - 11:00pm

RoseAnn,

Your anecdote about the car made me shake my head because I have a couple of relatives who said the same thing to my sister when she came to visit with a dog. I told my sister I couldn't welcome her dog inside because of my cat, but I told her I was more than happy to find a dog park where we could visit or just go for a walk. (She was just passing through and only would be in town a few hours.) However, one relative she also visited briefly said the dog would have to stay in the car! I have to admire my sister for promptly standing up, saying farewell and driving away hours before she planned to go. High five to my sister!

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Avatar for mrosie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2000
In reply to: mrosie
Mon, 09-24-2012 - 10:58am

There is definitely a gap between how some people treat their pets and how we treat our pets. I used to think it was generational (as in, my parents' generation saw animals as outside and expected to serve a function) but I find that a surprising number of people my age don't view their pets the same as I do. Our dogs are an extension of our family and, as such, we do our best to care for them to the best of our ability and finances.

Avatar for mrosie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2000
In reply to: mrosie
Mon, 09-24-2012 - 11:01am

There are also a number of studies that show that kids that grow up with animals are healthier and having a pet in the household can teach kids (and adults) so many things!

My parents got a dalmation for my sister when she was in high school (she wanted him for her senior pictures; red flag #1). She went away to college and then got married but never even considered taking the dog with her.

Eventually, my parents got tired of the problems (and cost) associated with an older dog so they gave him away when he was 12. I never felt particularly bonded to the dog but I was appalled that they got rid of him so easily and never even kept in touch to find out how he was doing.

RoseAnn

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2009
In reply to: cmjenas
Fri, 09-28-2012 - 9:48am
That is really sad about the dalmatian. I hope he's in a good home. I think a lot of people don't understand (or agree or maybe even care) that pets are supposed to be forever. I really want to put that as my FB status before Christmas (Remember: Puppies are forever!). A friend of ours had a dog that they gave away because nobody in the family wanted to take care of her. This was three months ago. Last week, they decided to get a puppy. It's sad because if they didn't want to take care of a dog who was already trained, what in the world is going to happen to this puppy when it turns into a 70 lb. dog?

Community Leader
Registered: 12-01-2001
In reply to:
Thu, 10-18-2012 - 6:57pm
I regularly wonder what's going through people's minds when they give pets as gifts. You're absolutely right -- they are (or should be) forever. One of my area shelters battles constantly with people returning their pets 10 or 12 years later. It's so sad.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2012
In reply to:
Sun, 12-30-2012 - 12:37am

I don't have any children of my own and my husband has 2 grown children out of the house.  We have 4 pets (2 cats and 2 dogs), which i consider my children. My husband doesn't agree with me and often times we have discussions about it. in 2008 I adopted a toy poodle and had him for 2 years, but due to illness and a new position I found myself unable to properly care for him so gave him back to the rescue group I adopted him from. It broke my heart and i never forgot about him.  After a year I decided to look for him again to see if I could get him back, but he had been adopted already.  After looking for him on my own I finally contacted the group and they put me in contact with his new owner.  His new owner allows me to visit him often.  I hope to get him back again.  I feel I have "a child" out there that needs to come home.