"Thank you" for not having kids - an opinion piece

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2001
"Thank you" for not having kids - an opinion piece
2
Sat, 12-14-2013 - 11:58am

A family member who's also child-free by choice share this with me today. I thought it was a fascinating -- and touching -- read:

To The Women Who Choose Not To Have Kids
http://thoughtcatalog.com/abby-rosmarin/2013/12/to-the-women-who-choose-not-to-have-kids/

Has anyone ever thanked you for -- or otherwise complimented -- your decision?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003

Great article! Thank you for sharing!

Speaking of which, no I've never received a "thank you" for not having kids. I'm 33 (about to turn 34), in a serious relationship, and we have no desire to have children.

My mother keeps bringing this topic up because SHE wants grandkids. Well, mom is going to be disappointed. I just really wish she would respect my choice. I have no desire to be a parent. This doesn’t mean that I hate kids- I just don't want any.

Unfortunately, I'm at that age where I'm surrounded by babies. Friends, cousins, co-workers and neighbors are popping them out at lightning speed. I'm also not 100% comfortable around babies. For whatever reason, they make me nervous and I feel the need to hand them back as quickly as possible. I don't coo and go crazy over infants.

Just last week, I was coming home from work armed with groceries, mail, etc. As I'm trying to get in my door, the woman from across the hall from me come outside and exclaims "My daughter had her baby!!" I reply "Isn't that nice? Congratulations!" as I'm fumbling with my keys and juggling packages. "Wait right here! I'll go get him!" she squeals. Before I can retort, I'm not suck in the hallway with all of my crap, waiting to pretend to be in awe once more at yet another child. Is it wrong that they all look the same to me???

In conclusion, it would be nice to be recognized for making the right choice for myself. I know kids aren't for me and therefore, won't give into the pressure of being a childless mid-30's woman. My BF and I are very happy. We have the freedom to do what we want, whenever we choose. I can have some "adult fun" on a Saturday afternoon, and sleep in as late as I want Sunday morning. There are no lunches to pack, homework to look over, soccer games to attend, fights to break up, rooms to clean, diapers to change, babysitters to hire, the list goes on and on. I fully understand that parenting isn’t easy.

Instead, there are long weekends away, late nights, lazy afternoons, loud noises, and a lot of freedom. One of my favorites is when he turns to me on a weekend morning and says “Hey, what do you want to do today?”

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2001
Nad, I could have written many parts of your post. Luckily, my in-laws and parents never have put any pressure on me to provide human grandkids. I'm not 100 percent comfortable around babies and kids, either. I do moderately well if they're children of close friends. For some strange reason, I go mum around a stranger or acquaintance's children. And, yes, I agree many look the same. I am terrible at the "which parent the child looks like" game. I can spot the resemblance maybe 3 percent of the time. I'm glad you're happy and enjoying your life. The freedoms you described definitely are luxuries I appreciate as well.

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