amazing marriage but still looking at coworker

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2011
amazing marriage but still looking at coworker
15
Tue, 01-18-2011 - 1:12am

Can't leave my work, Adore my husband, have sex almost daily, sexy and loving.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Tue, 01-18-2011 - 5:50am

Falling for some one is

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Tue, 01-18-2011 - 9:53am

p
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2009
Tue, 01-18-2011 - 2:04pm

I would say if you treat him differently than other co-workers, then you need to stop. If you specifically seek him out in the workplace to chat or joke around, stop. If you eat lunch together, stop. Imagine your husband is in the room. If you said something to this co-worker, would it be okay for your husband to hear? If not, you're crossing boundaries. If you treat this man like a best friend, stop. Even if it never evolves to anything else, your husband wants to be the only man who is your best friend.

There are amazing people who are very attractive in this world. It's up to you to re-frame things in your mind to keep them at arms length rather than waste your time fantasizing about them. Spending this emotional energy on someone other than your husband is not beneficial to your marriage.

Besides sex, make sure you and your husband are physically affectionate outside the bedroom, and spend time together on fun dates inside or outside of the house. Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2011
Thu, 01-20-2011 - 5:34am

Thanks for your advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2011
Thu, 01-20-2011 - 5:40am
I am monogamous but the husband is 4 years older then I am and although still fun and awesome, he is burdened by the bills and the kids and everything. The younger guy is more fun loving and sooo talented with music and dancing, so free in life no responsibilities. I just wish I could take a few of the younger guys attributes and put them into my husband. Thanks for your comments.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2011
Thu, 01-20-2011 - 5:44am
Thanks for the comments. I feel so much better to know that I am not the only one to have a crush on someone while being married. I have thought about what I would do given the opportunity to choose to act on my feelings and leave my husband, and hands down I would choose my husband everytime. I just love being with the other guy when my husband isn't around and love being with me. I appreciate the thought you put into your post and I will ponder a few of your questions and I really loved the personal story, made me feel much less guilt ridden about my situation. Thanks and God Bless!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Thu, 01-20-2011 - 10:27am

p
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
Thu, 01-20-2011 - 5:16pm
bearangel12 wrote:

Can't leave my work, Adore my husband, have sex almost daily, sexy and loving.




iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2001
Fri, 01-21-2011 - 9:16am
Hello. Personally I think you are asking for a troubled marriage if you continue to think about the other guy. Think deeply about your marriage and what it might be like w/o your dh and kids and etc... and then decide if you can or can not stop thinking about the other guy. I wouldn' t see the other co worker at lunch, never alone, just stop tempting yourself,,, you don't know him as much as you know your dh and his quirks, so please never think that the "grass is greener" with the other guy... Both men? That is tactically not a great idea. forget that one and work on your marriage.I'm sorry if my reply is a bit abrupt,, not meaning to be, but I think you have to take the bull by the horns and forget about that other guy.. concentrate on your marriage and family. ;O)
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2010
Sat, 01-22-2011 - 10:31am

Oh bearangel...I'm sorry sweet, but I have all sorts of major alarm bells going off in my head here. Please step back NOW - I seriously mean this. An affair can sneak up on even the happiest of marriages. Trust me on this. You're playing with fire and trying to justify it to yourself with all kinds of fancy mental gymnastics. You know I'm right about that....from somewhere who has been there/ done that - and said with the utmost kindness - stop kidding yourself and stop kidding around, you are on seriously dangerous ground.

Hugs

Me

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