Can this friendship withstand a wedding?

Avatar for mrosie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2000
Can this friendship withstand a wedding?
Wed, 02-23-2011 - 10:10am

I have a friend who is getting married in July. She has asked me to be a bridesmaid and I gladly accepted but now I'm wondering what I've gotten myself into.

We spent 6 hours Friday night shopping for bridesmaid dresses (even more tortorous than it sounds because I don't enjoy shopping to begin with!). Fortunately we found one that we all like, fits us well and works for the young junior bridesmaid. Although the bride also likes the style (it's the one she'd initially picked out from the catalog), now she is getting completely indecisive about color. It was going to be blue with a yellow dress for the maid of honor. Now she's considering black, pink, purple. I think the number of choices are simply overwhelming her.

They also shopped for several hours on Saturday afternoon but I begged off because I had other plans.

I would almost prefer that she were the traditional bridezilla and wanted everything a certain way. It's much more frustrating for me to listen to someone waffle on every single decision!

I just needed to vent. I'm sure the fact that I've been married so long has made it difficult for me to remember the stress and details of wedding planning. LOL


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2007
Wed, 02-23-2011 - 4:05pm
This is why some people promise each other that they will still be friends after the wedding no matter what happens! 6 hours is excruciating.

I do think you have some "power" (I use that term loosely, it's the only word I can come up with now). Pretty soon she will only have 4 months until the wedding and with dresses, some need to be order by a deadline. And you need to allow time for it to be altered if needed. I think I would gently tell her the above and also bring up the idea of just going with black dresses. That's what a lot of brides do now days: tell their BM's that as long as the dress is black, they don't care about the style. AND if you went with black, you could add a sash in whatever color she wants so she still has the color there. As long as you have the dress she could change her mind about the sash up until the last minute.

Do you know why she's waffling? Is she trying to please too many people instead of going with what she wants?

The good thing is that there is only 4 more months of this!! If it were me, I wouldn't invest myself much so that I can be fluid (and expect for her to change her mind a billion times) but at the same time still seem supportive. I don't want to say "it's her wedding" because that doesn't mean you get to run amok but it won't look bad on you in the end (that sounds horrible). Are you close enough to chat with her and calm her down and maybe get her head in the game?
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Registered: 01-07-2008
Wed, 02-23-2011 - 4:16pm

Avatar for mrosie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2000
Wed, 02-23-2011 - 5:53pm

I think that's exactly the problem. She's having the same

Avatar for hugss
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
Wed, 02-23-2011 - 8:05pm

Hey RoseAnn,
Glad you did vent here!
The waffling back & forth would drive me nutso, LOL
However am sure you will survive & the friendship too.
It is a stressful time if I recall
So hang in there & go with the flow & help her out as much as you can.
Do share all the details here too if you want :)