Can Someone Tell Me How To Handle This?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-1999
Can Someone Tell Me How To Handle This?
21
Mon, 01-10-2011 - 7:20pm

I need some suggestions.

Sucker Punch

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Avatar for mrosie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2000
Mon, 01-10-2011 - 11:04pm

Have you considered going to a counselor who can help you both work on your communication skills?

DH and I went to a counselor together several years ago and we found that just having the counselor observe the way we talked to each other gave us some important insights into our communication styles and helped give us tools to communicate more effectively.

It does sound like something needs to change but you might both be too close to the situation to make that change without some outside guidance.

Good luck!

RoseAnn

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-1999
Tue, 01-11-2011 - 1:08pm

Tried counseling once.

Sucker Punch

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2009
Tue, 01-11-2011 - 1:17pm

I agree with Roseann. You two need professional help before one or both of you get to the part where the straw breaks the camel's back. The way you've treated each other and communicated with each other has certainly put up barriers and built bitterness in your relationship. Throwing an object at a person, even if it hits the chair is abuse. I wouldn't feel like having sex or cooking for my partner if he threw something at me either.

I don't know his side of the story. Yes a partner should help you with something if you ask. If it's the case where you're always running late and wanting him to do things if you weren't running late, or could've done it if your nails weren't wet or you had already changed into your good clothes, etc., then

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Tue, 01-11-2011 - 3:18pm

The reason

Avatar for msally99
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 01-11-2011 - 5:54pm

>>> I've never heard him compromise in an argument.

Avatar for hugss
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
Tue, 01-11-2011 - 11:37pm

Hi Sharmaine & welcome to the board :)

Sounds like you really need to sit your DH down & speak with him
Share how you feel & your thoughts about all of this.
If you already have then do it again until he *gets it*
Otherwise I would also suggest some kind of counseling.
Good luck




iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Wed, 01-12-2011 - 3:44pm

The

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-1999
Wed, 01-12-2011 - 5:21pm

Thanks blueorchid.

Sucker Punch

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-1999
Wed, 01-12-2011 - 5:54pm

Misstrygg:

It most certainly feel like a powertrip.

Sucker Punch

Avatar for mrosie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2000
Wed, 01-12-2011 - 6:13pm

Even when one partner is not bringing money into the household, that person is entitled to some amount of spending money without having to justify every expense.

I think it's very telling that you say that and I would hope you would reconsider how to best deal with those problems.

If nothing else, you need to both work on your communications skills so that you can adequately express your expectations for the relationship. If you don't want to be in a Lucy/Ricky type relationship, only you can change that.

RoseAnn

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