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|Sat, 10-29-2011 - 8:02pm|
I'm visiting from the Betrayed Spouses group and hoping for some helpful tips from those of you here.
I've been talking about cuddling with my H. It's something I feel I really need right now - just to feel him close and feel that he cares. The problem is that he's really not a cuddler. He loves physical contact - just not cuddling. We've had talks throughout the years (we've been together 25), and he used to think that cuddling was pointless unless it led to sex. He says now that it doesn't always have to, but I don't think he really believes that, because whenever we do cuddle, he always turns it into more.
For example, the other night I told him I was going to bed early, because I was exhausted and had a crazy day ahead of me. He joined me much later and cuddled up to me (rare). He was rubbing my arms and legs and it was really nice and I thought he was responding to our recent talks about me wanted to cuddle more. I was looking forward to falling back to sleep in his arms, but it soon turned into him groping and I realized that I had misunderstood his intentions.
This has happened over and over. And if I tell him I don't want it to go any further for whatever reason, the caressing stops. I don't know if it's just too frustrating at that point or if he's angry or what, but the message I get is that if it's not going to go anywhere, he's not interested.
Do you think there's any way to express to him why cuddling that doesn't lead to sex might be important to me? Is it important to you as a woman? I don't even know if I'm 'normal' in thinking that way. Maybe it's supposed to all lead to sex and he's right about it being pointless otherwise.
Any insights you an offer will be greatly appreciated!