does this make sense???

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2012
does this make sense???
Thu, 01-12-2012 - 8:59pm
Hello. My husband and I have been separated for a while. The end of May we got back together. June 4th the woman he had been dating tells me she found out that day that she's pregnant with his child. June 13 she sends him an US pic of two dots ( literally dots) in what looks to be a sac and one dot in another, claiming she's preg with triplets. Now, she is high risk due to pre existing diabetes. She never invites him to Dr appointments only tells him after fact what happened at appointment. She later said her due date was Feb 14 th wich by my calculations she would have concieved May 24th. Wich just does not add up. In Sept. ( on my birthday) she calls to tell him she went to ER for bleeding and lost two twins in same sac and third does not look healthy. Again never telling him what hospital and after she's all ready gone. About a month ago her due date is changed to March 9 which she would to have concieved June 17 th. My husband had a vasectomy on the 14th of June wich resulted in minor complications. I'm positive he could not have fatheredany child in June. So as it stand the child is due March 9 th and she's still claiming he's the father still yet not allowing him to know Dr offices or any other info but publicly and to me announces she loves him and wants to be with him. Please any opinions will greatly be appreciated. We had to tell our sons about this possible half brother on the way and they are devistated. I know there's no sure way to tell if child is his until he's here. Which if so we will love him like we do our other children. But she is a very difficult person to deal with and I'm praying its not.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
Fri, 01-13-2012 - 6:51am

It could be her attempt to hold onto him, maybe she is not even pregnant. I would insist that he goes to a doctor's appointment with her to make sure.

Avatar for mrosie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2000
Fri, 01-13-2012 - 7:57am

Wow! What a difficult situation.

It certainly sounds like she might be using this to manipulate him and keep him in her life.

In that situation, I think the best thing to do is wait until the baby arrives and verify paternity. For all of your sakes, I hope the baby is not his so that you can all move on with your lives. If the baby is his, I hope that you can find a way to deal with this woman for the next 18 years.

I don't know how old your sons are but I'm not sure I would have told young kids about this situation. Maybe if they are teenagers and capable of understanding some of the deeper implications but even then I feel that parents are allowed to withhold information until they have the whole story themselves. JMHO


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2012
Fri, 01-13-2012 - 8:06am
Thank you for your responses. She definatly pregnant. Three weeks ago I seen her face to face for a chat. Her belly is very small. She only looks to be 3 months at most. The dates and stories she gives just all are not making sense. I didn't want to tell our sons but there is a child in my sons class that knows her and she was coaching him to tell our sons. It left me no choice. Just was wondering if I am Loosing my mind and just don't want it to be his that I'm hoping the dates don't work or if others think the same as well. All US she provided none no info on them as far as dates, name, etc...
Avatar for hugss
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
Fri, 01-13-2012 - 9:22am

Hi & welcome to the board :)

Wow tough is right,
I guess if I were your dh I would *insist* on going to a doctor's appointment with her,
Getting his name, etc & knowing that she really i going to the appointments, etc.
I would want prove of this pregnancy & not just her word.
Otherwise I would be hestitant in believeing this.
While yes she may be pregnant .. get prove that it is his.
Sorry but it sounds fishy to me.
Good luck & let us know what happens :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Sat, 01-14-2012 - 1:20am
"For all of your sakes, I hope the baby is not his so that you can all move on with your lives."

Except for the baby's sake. This poor little guy would be left with a difficult mother and no father. If the OP's husband is the father, it sounds like he would have a wonderful Stepmother & half brothers to call family too...given that the OP is willing to love the child as they do their own children.

To the OP, due dates and conception dates are not fool proof and they can get them wrong by 2-3 weeks. So really the only thing you can do is wait until the baby is born. You will only drive yourself crazy thinking about it over and over. I do hope your husband appreciates your patience!