empty apartment owned by In-Laws

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
empty apartment owned by In-Laws
7
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 1:44pm
I wanted to post here, instead of in-laws because I am happily married and I like my in-laws a lot. Basically, my DH and I live in a big city. We rent an apartment and his parents own one in the same area. Basically, his parents are moving out of their apartment, but not selling it. They offered to let us live in it. We really want to because we would save so much money since we would only have to pay for utilities and possibly taxes. Basically, we rent in this town and there will be an open apartment for us to move to. It sounds ideal. My only concern is honestly just the mere fact of living somewhere owned by my in-laws. We get along good, but they can be intrusive. I am afraid that they may want to come over all the time because they will still be hanging around the city, even though they are moving to the suburbs. On one hand, it's a no-brainer. I may be losing my job too which is scary. On the other hand, though, I feel like we will owe them big, may call all the time, etc. They are not bad people, just nosey.


Edited 6/10/2010 1:56 pm ET by janiebean2
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2008
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 2:48pm

My honest opinion?


If something sounds to good to be true it probably is. And this sounds to good to be true.


I invision a situation where your in-laws may want something (you to visit, you to do something for them, you to open your calendar/home to them etc...) and when you hesitate they say "Well.......we are letting you live in OUR house rent free after all".


For me...I couldnt risk being beholden to them.
























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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2007
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 2:53pm

>>On the other hand, though, I feel like we will owe them big, may call all the time, etc. They are not bad people, just nosey. <<

I have tons of questions :)

Do you have any boundaries at the moment with your IL's? Is your DH capable of handling them/enforcing boundaries? Have they brought up how you owed them in the past?

Just to CYA I would ask for a contract and possibly see about paying some form of rent financially so both parties don't feel like you are freeloading. Also boundaries; if they can't be enforced by your DH then I say no to avoid having your privacy invaded. I imagine since she is the landlord she will have keys to the place and if she likes using them whenever, regardless, that's no fun.

My vision is completely clouded on issues like this because of issues we have with my MIL. If yours were like mine, then I would decline the offer but it doesn't seem like yours are. Just because it's cheap now, doesn't mean it won't be cheap then, ya know? It's not always worth it in the end. For instance, MIL recently offered us her car for free but nothing is ever free with her. There are so many strings attached I would just rather shell out big bucks for a new car. Plus she would never let us live it down that she gave us her car.

Siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 3:00pm

I have tons of questions :)

Do you have any boundaries at the moment with your IL's? Is your DH capable of handling them/enforcing boundaries? Have they brought up how you owed them in the past?

Thanks for responding!

"I have tons of questions :)

Do you have any boundaries at the moment with your IL's? Is your DH capable of handling them/enforcing boundaries? Have they brought up how you owed them in the past?
<

Just to CYA I would ask for a contract and possibly see about paying some form of rent financially so both parties don't feel like you are freeloading. Also boundaries; if they can't be enforced by your DH then I say no to avoid having your privacy invaded. I imagine since she is the landlord she will have keys to the place and if she likes using them whenever, regardless, that's no fun.

My vision is completely clouded on issues like this because of issues we have with my MIL. If yours were like mine, then I would decline the offer but it doesn't seem like yours are. Just because it's cheap now, doesn't mean it won't be cheap then, ya know? It's not always worth it in the end. For instance, MIL recently offered us her car for free but nothing is ever free with her. There are so many strings attached I would just rather shell out big bucks for a new car. Plus she would never let us live it down that she gave us her car.

<< Yes, what you are saying is true. I have dealt with this exact same thing in the past. I've paid for things they didn't ask me to, so I wouldn't have to feel like I was dependent on them or they owed me

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2007
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 3:40pm

>>My husband doesn't do anything to enforce them. In truth, I enforce them myself.<<

Honestly this scares me a bit. I know for me I couldn't agree to stay in their apartment.

Siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 4:47pm

After reading your response to someone:


I wouldn't do it - not a chance in whatever!

Denise

Denise

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 6:05pm
Thanks for the feedback everyone!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 6:55pm
Hi Janie,
Sorry I am late in chiming in ::blush::
However I see others have pointed out some things to consider.
I guess if you're ok with it
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