Frustrated with DH

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2010
Frustrated with DH
7
Thu, 10-21-2010 - 3:49pm

I have been married for 8 years now.

Avatar for mrosie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2000
Thu, 10-21-2010 - 5:04pm

First of all, welcome to the board!

It is not unusual for sexual desires to ebb and flow depending on what else is going on in your life as well as the individual's needs and hormonal states.

I think it's completely reasonable for you to have your desire (or lack thereof) heard and respected.

Is it possible that when he grabs you after work, that's just how he's most comfortable showing affection? Does he always expect that initiate sex? I've had to learn to be open to DH's physical advances because sometimes he's just wanting to fool around, not actually have sex.

Maybe take the "helping out" suggestion a step further and tell him exactly what household chores will "earn" him. If he sees that he gets the promised reward if he starts helping out more, he may start initiating that help more often.

Good luck and let us know how things are going!

RoseAnn

Avatar for hugss
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
Thu, 10-21-2010 - 9:45pm

Hi lovelycrab & welcome to the board :)

Well we all have our ups & downs so to speak with sex you know,
Sounds like you need to sit down & talk with DH Bout this.
I do agree with the OP about maybe you should suggest how he could help you around the house.
As that would allow more time/energy for you & him most likely.

Sit down & discuss this so it doesn't become any bigger of an issue than it is now.
Let him know that there are just times you are tired or would reather cuddle perhaps.
He needs to respect your wishes when you tell him no about the grabbing or anything else.

Am sure others will have more thoughts as well so do check back.

Hope we'll see you here again :)




iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Sat, 10-23-2010 - 5:08pm

p
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2010
Tue, 10-26-2010 - 9:28pm

Thanks to those who have replied.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Wed, 10-27-2010 - 11:43am

p
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Wed, 10-27-2010 - 4:13pm

You say that your DH does not want to have sex while you are on your period, and I'm assuming he means intercourse.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2010
Wed, 10-27-2010 - 7:18pm

I saw that someone had suggested perhaps another way of pleasing your guy during that time of the month... (I personally am not a fan of the other kind.)