Future plans?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Future plans?
13
Wed, 06-08-2011 - 2:41pm

Do you and your spouse have a 3 yr plan? 5 yr plan?

How do you come to your major life decisions? (ie, do you have a process that has evolved over time? does one partner make all the plans/decisions?)

Just curious :)

Dee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2011
Wed, 06-08-2011 - 2:59pm

We used to have alot of detailed plans, but the longer we're married the shorter our goals become and the less detailed they are.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Wed, 06-08-2011 - 3:55pm

My DH would LOVE to have no plans and just be "content with what life brings"...but I would never live that way, LOL. I have always had to make my way in the world and it's fared me well. But!!! I do recognize that plans are just guidelines...they aren't set in stone. For example, I am planning how/when would be a good time to upgrade to a house. We currently have a townhome and DH is happy here (no lawn to do, great location). But I see that having 2 rambuncious boys is going to make the place feel too small...they need a backyard!

I have a 3 yr plan, 5 yr plan and 10 yr plan. I even have budgets attached with projected incomes...whether DH gets that promotion, changes jobs, etc. Drives DH nuts bc he doesn't want to think about it...least he gets excited about something he can't have. I see it as "you'll never have it if you don't take the necessary steps"...

We have a very definite decision making process: we go out for dinner just

Avatar for mrosie
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Registered: 03-23-2000
Wed, 06-08-2011 - 10:42pm

We haven't really spelled out very many specific plans but we definitely talk about long-range goals and what we both have to do to reach them.

The one that I'm really excited about at the moment is the prospect of paying off our house in the next few years! I never thought that would happen so soon but we've been diligent about making extra payments and it's looking like

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2007
Wed, 06-08-2011 - 11:49pm

We're like you, Rosie. We don't make concrete plans, because life always throws us curveballs. Yes, DH decided to go to college and yes, we decided when and where to move, but nothing is set in stone. We have long-range goals and discuss them a lot, but we don't say exactly when we are going to meet those goals.

We moved last July and just in the less than a year that we've been here, a lot has happened: the water heater gave out, the central heating and air gave out, I was sick for a couple of months, our car was totaled in an accident, we've struggled financially (still are), it took me eight months to find a job, we've had to have repairs on our truck, we had to take one of our cats to the emergency vet in the middle of the night, etc. Just when you think you've figured it out, bad stuff happens and whatever you did have planned out gets set back several notches because you have to take care of something.

What's that old saying? If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.

Avatar for hugss
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
Thu, 06-09-2011 - 8:48am

Great question Dee,
At this point in time we just want to keep on going, LOL
My plan is to move from where we are .. not sure about DH
He knows I want to but ..
So I guess




iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Thu, 06-09-2011 - 11:48am

p
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Thu, 06-09-2011 - 12:01pm

p
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Thu, 06-09-2011 - 10:33pm

I don't think there is anything wrong with a traditional marriage - whatever works. People often think bc I am so independent that I wouldn't like that but it's not true. I didn't meet my DH until I was 30 so I was very established and it made that type of r/ship more difficult. It would be impossible for my DH to be the final say in anything financial as I am the breadwinner and I had a substantial nest egg when we met...and it's not bc I had to the money, it's just that I am obviously more fiscally responsible than he is...or I care more about those matters, he's just happy to have food and a roof, LOL!

It is hard to give up control, but we have to do it for a good marriage. There are things I give control over too. My DH isn't really confident tho and he would like to defer to me but sometimes I don't let him bc he NEEDS to steer the ship sometimes. I even make him go over the budgets, pay bills, etc bc he should know what is happening.

Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Thu, 06-09-2011 - 10:34pm
Sometimes it just makes more sense to go with the flow...I have done that...I backpacked for over one year in my 20s :)

Dee
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Thu, 06-09-2011 - 10:38pm

I could see how that would work very well. It would be nice to have that - but my DH would never bring up an idea or try to persuade me on anything. It's up to me to ask the pointed questions to get to the heart of it w/him. Luckily he told me on date #2 that he'd love to move to the interior someday. I've grown to love the area - my mother lives there - and it's becoming a potential goal for us. Hard to find jobs there tho so it's not set in stone or anything.

Paying off your house is amazing!!! Congrats to you two. That is fantastic.

Dee

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