Handling an ex's death

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Handling an ex's death
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 12:57am


I m a 50 year old man who has now been happily married for 6 1/2 years. I just found out the ex-girlfriend I had my longest previous relationship, 7 1/2 years or so during my 30's, died on September 25. I had not run into her or heard from her in over 8 years. 

 I  feel sad and spooked by the news of her demise. Prior to my wife entering the scenethis girlfriend was the greatest love of my life.She radiated utter sweetness, but just couldn't make up her mind to marry me.

I am curious how others here have handled similar news. 

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 12:51pm

My xH died after I had remarried.  My story is a bit different as we had two children together though.

It is okay to be sad.  Allow yourself to grieve and use this as an opportunity to appreciate the time with your wife.  Make sure and talk to friends if necesary.  Your current W may be supportive, but she is not the person to reminise with.  KWIM?

Take care, I know it is an odd space to be in.

Serenity CL making a second marriage work

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Sun, 01-12-2014 - 1:09am

[quote=serenity1986]<p>I know it is an odd space to be in.</p>[quote]

Thanks, Serenity. It is indeed an odd space to be in.

Anyone else here have a comparable experience?


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2013
Mon, 01-20-2014 - 1:46am
Yeah it is all right to be sad and feel grief over hear death, it is natural. If your wife is understanding and supportive then go ahead and share with her also. Otherwise share it with the best you have, with whom you regularly confide. Just do not feel guilt over being sad on your ex girl friend's death.