Help? Advice needed please.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2011
Help? Advice needed please.
6
Sun, 07-17-2011 - 12:22pm

Okay, this isn't exactly related to my marriage but I need some advice from the parents. My DH and I live in a basement apartment. We have a really good relationship with the landlords upstairs. The landlady will come down to do laundry and we'll chat. Yesterday the landlady's grandkids were over (grade school age). They were playing in the hot tub when suddenly I heard what sounded like water pouring out of the hot tub. The kids were splashing so hard that water was coming into my bedroom window and my walls and bed were getting wet (not soaking bad, but enough). I stepped outside and said to the kids to have fun, but please be careful because water is coming into my room. I didn't yell, I didn't raise my voice. The landlady came down and I showed her what had happened. I didn't yell at anyone, I wasn't mad or rude or anything. Today the landlady came down to do laundry and she won't talk to me. I stopped her to ask how the kids were and she was not happy. Now her husband and the kids dad are furious with me because I spoke to the kids and not them first. I realize in retrospect that I should have knocked first. I wasn't thinking. Water was splashing into my room and I didn't think.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
Sun, 07-17-2011 - 2:13pm

You could try telling her that you were upset about the water as she knew,
and your first reaction was to tell the kids to be careful.
Honestly nothing wrong with that ..
However you can say that if it happens again you will speak to her first.
Sounds like since you had/have a good relationship with the landlord you could be honest.
Let's hear what others suggest as well.
Keep us posted on how this all goes on :)




iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Sun, 07-17-2011 - 8:43pm
I am a pretty laid back parent so this wouldn't bother me. But I know LOTS of parents that don't feel it is anyone's place to correct their children's behaviour. I think it's sad since parents can't be everywhere and the whole, "takes a village to raise a child" thing gets disregarded.

I would honestly ask her if she is upset about the water thing (it *might* be something else and this is just coincedence). Then explain to her that on second thought, you realize the right thing to do in that situation is tell her first. You'll be doing that in the future.

On another note, she could be ignoring you bc she is afraid you going to try to request damages. She would be financially responsible for anythign that got damaged by the water....

GL,

Dee
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2011
Sun, 07-17-2011 - 9:50pm

I talked to the landlady when she came down to do her laundry. She didn't even say hi. I had to stop her to talk to her. She said I should have come to her and not go outside. I told her that I thought about that afterwards. I honestly wasn't thinking about parent/child edict. I just saw water spraying over my bed and rushed up. I didn't yell at the kids, just told them my window was under them and to please be careful. When the landlady came down I said to her it wasn't a huge deal, that it would dry, but to just let the kids know to be mindful. Accidents happen. Kids get excited. I told her today that I was sorry for upsetting them that I honestly wasn't thinking. She said her husband and son are furious and don't want her to speak to me again. When she came down later I was teary. She is my first friend in this country and told me she thought of me as a daughter. I told her that I'd apologize to whoever I needed to, that I didn't want any bad blood between us. She seemed less annoyed, but who knows. I left the house to work out my frustrations at the gym. I've been bummed all day. I think now is a good time to let the dust I had no idea I was kicking up settle. :(

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
Sun, 07-17-2011 - 10:14pm

Awww sorry she is being like that :(
Seems to me she is over reacting a bit .. but that's just my opinion,
Hopefully yes let things settle.
You said what you needed to & were very honest.
Let's hope she realizes that she needs to get over it
Let us know if anything changes :)




iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2007
Wed, 07-20-2011 - 2:15pm

Hello,

I have to say your landlord's family sounds very cheeky and rude.

Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
Wed, 07-20-2011 - 3:24pm
Welcome to the board Donna,
Hope we'll see you here again :)