Help me understand you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Help me understand you!
Wed, 02-23-2011 - 6:17am

I have a question, which been nagging me for a while, could you help me answering it?

I been hearing a lot from people

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2007
Wed, 02-23-2011 - 8:12am

There are several reasons why someone would ask for permission. In some cultures it is consider an honor for the bride's father if the groom asks him for permission to marry his daughter. It shows respect for the bride's parents and also that the groom's intentions are honorable. This shows that the parents are also involved in the decision making where the wedding is concerned.

Another reason is because of the current economy. A lot adult children can't afford to live on their own right now. It's difficult for them to afford a place to live right out of high school or college, so they are remaining at home with their parents. And a lot of adult children end up later returning to live with their parents again. Some of them may ask for permission to marry so that the parents will know that they will have two more people under their roof instead of one.

Another reason would be pregnancy, particularly if the woman is a teen. And also the marriageable age laws are different in each state. For example, most (but not all) of the states consider 18 the age where you can marry without your parents' consent (the age is 19 in Nebraska and 17 in Mississippi). And you have to a minimum age to marry with your parents' consent, usually (though not always) 16.

And another reason would be simply because you're concerned about how your parents would react if you married someone they didn't like. For example, my great-grandmother's parents wanted her to marry a particular man, but she said no and married my great-grandfather instead. Her family was so upset with her that they never spoke to her again for the rest of her life.

Avatar for mrosie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2000
Wed, 02-23-2011 - 10:05am

Sisterhoney gave a much more thorough answer than I could come up with!

I think when people talk about asking their parents' permission for marriage, it's usually more along the lines of asking the parents' blessing. The word permission is a little misleading because I've yet to hear of someone approaching their or their SO's parents and taking "no" for an answer. LOL


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Wed, 02-23-2011 - 3:28pm

Thank you!

I was wondering since an American friend of mine is so upset that her daughter didnt ask for permission and the guy didnt ask for her hand. And I dont know how to comfort her.

I should tell you that in Sweden legal age for marriage is 18 no ifs or butt about it, reason is that we had too many Arabic 14 year old getting forced into marriaging relatives just to get them to Sweden.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Wed, 02-23-2011 - 4:31pm

Avatar for hugss
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
Wed, 02-23-2011 - 8:02pm

Looks like sisterhoney did answer it quite well for you,
Although my dh didn't ask anyone's permission/blessing.
I think it depends on the age & other factors.
Hope you get it now :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Thu, 02-24-2011 - 5:07am

Well in Sweden there is NO reason for doing