Hurt =\

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2008
Hurt =\
Wed, 11-21-2012 - 10:18pm

So long story short, we didn't have a wedding because DH says he hates weddings and never wanted to be in one. Now his cousin is getting married on our sons 2nd birthdayoff all days and DH is all excited to be in the wedding and goin on about how he loves getting dressed up. I didn't get the wedding I want and I can never ever change that, and I feel like he lied to me to get out of having a wedding with me. =,[

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
In reply to: cheyfri
Thu, 11-22-2012 - 10:19am

Aww yes that is/would be hurtful ::sigh::
I think you really need to discuss it with hom though & share how you feel.
Hugs to you :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
In reply to: cheyfri
Sat, 12-01-2012 - 1:58am

First - never say never. You may still get a wedding as there are "renewed vows" and other options out there.

Secondly - I would definitely feel upset and hurt as well. But my brother told me once that men dont' have a problem with BEING married, it is just the parade and show of GETTING married. Just because he wants to get dressed up for a cousin's wedding, doesn't mean the wants to go through the wedding himself. It is still not the same thing.



iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
In reply to: cheyfri
Sun, 12-02-2012 - 12:12pm


Hi. Realize there's a big difference here. Your man's feelings are equivalent to someone who likes being an aunt or uncle, but doesn't want to be a parent. When it's your own wedding, tens of thousands of dollars can be expended, money that now won't be available for practical needs--buying a house, etc. Also, throwing your own wedding can involve negotiating with or working around unreasonable and/or dysfunctional family members. Serious stress and tension can result.

So, I wouldn't take it personally that your man can enjoy someone else's wedding.