Memory loss in family elders

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2007
Memory loss in family elders
6
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 4:04pm

When did you first notice memory loss in older people in your life?

My grandmother just turned 68 (but could easily pass for 50) and in the last year she keeps repeating things that she doesn't remember she told me. Usually it doesn't occur to her that she's told me but today she told me something that we talked about ALL last week and it's just Tuesday! She did preface it by saying "Maybe I already told you but you know how old people are."

Maybe I'm worrying about nothing but the length of time between telling me things gets shorter and shorter. She also just retired and moved 3 hours away and is living alone. She hangs out with her neighbors and friends regularly but we don't see her as often since she has moved away. I will be the one taking care of her.

Siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2009
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 9:41pm

Hi there,

To be honest I don't remember when my grandma started losing her memory and it seems like my mom has been skipping a beat for a while. I think my grandma was 85 when she started having major trouble but my mom seems to just have "senior moments." I have been told that after the age of 50 everything takes about 4 seconds to register but that's something else altogether.

Trust your gut and if you're wrong or overreacting, so what. You care about her. Just make sure that you have the phone numbers and contact info of her friends and neighbors and my advice is to stay in contact with them (email, whatever). Ask them what they think. And stay in contact on a regular basis. Also, don't forget to ask what your grandma thinks or how she feels; when memory goes, they know somethings up and it stresses them out. If you notice more memory issues I would talk with her about it and then visit the doctor. It might make the both of you feel better.

Good luck,

jennie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 11:27pm
I know I do that too ::blush::
And am not that age of your grandma,
I think it is partially normal to not always remember what we have told others.
I think you should keep your eye on her so to speak.
Am guessing it's just a part of age
It's probably not as bad as you are thinking though.
Do let us know how it goes & if you think it's getting worse :)


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2007
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 11:19am

I realize it's a part of getting old so I do take that into consideration. And I forget things often and I'm in my 20's!!

It's just that the time between her telling me originally and repeating it to me is getting shorter and shorter and the light bulb went off yesterday more so than it has in the past.

I will keep an eye out on here.

Thanks!

Siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 12:29pm

Hey, I was adopted, so my parents are older, I'm 29, and my Mom is 68. I lost my Father when he was 59. Anyway, i can relate a bit. My Mom is very stubborn. Very independents, she also has a lot of neighbor friends, that she sees regularly. Unlike you and your Grandmother, my Mom lives about a mile from us. I see her, and talk to her a lot, and we are very close. I've noticed a couple of things with my Mom.

There are things I KNOW I told her. No question, and we'll be talking, and she will say (with a lot of attitude) that I NEVER said such a thing. I will say, Mom, I know I told you this. Then again, she will get an attitude and say No. I stopped arguing with her about it, some. My Grandmother lived until 92, and had no Alzheimer's, a bit of Dementia, but that's it. I was worried at a point and called her best friend, whom she's known since childhood, and she said she noticed it too. I've got a Psychology background, so I tried to be objective. Her friend also said that she does things like that too.

It does sound like your Grandmother is getting forgetful, but I don't think you should freak out. In talking to some other people her age, such as my MIL, who is younger, she says it's part of getting older. I don't see any other signs of Alzheimer's in my Mom.

I think you should defiantly keep an eye out. This started awhile ago with my Mom, and in watching her, I realized it's not as big of deal as I was making it out to be, or worried about. I mean all the details of my life, are not her number one thing on her mind, you know? Do watch though.

I just felt I would respond, because I've gone through a very similar thing. Thought I could relate a bit. One thing my Mom's friend did tell me, is that I should mention that i already told her something, but not to argue a lot. Simply because, it may worry her, or make her feel bad, especially if she knows she could have forgot, and is embarrassed. My Mom and I used to fight about stuff, and now I just say, "Mom, I told you about this last week, remember?" and she will say " You did not....", and I'll just kind of leave it at that. I have been keeping an eye on things, and she seems to only forget things that are so small. Or details about my life that don't really have much relevance. She doesn't forget appointments or anything.

Good luck with things, and I hope I could maybe make you feel better because I have been, and still am keeping an eye out, and It's nothing, and I thought you could get comfort from that, or relate some. So, I just wanted to share my experiences. !

* Robyn *

p
p
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 12:56pm
Do keep an eye on it for sure,
Also maybe you could journal somehow.
Just a thought that that might help :)


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2006
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 1:46pm

My mom turned 72 this year and I have really noticed this in the past year. Whenever I try to correct her on it, she turns very defensive and sometimes angry. So I find myself walking a fine line with her and asking her to write things down. Unfortunately, if we discuss things on the phone and I don't see her write it down - then it becomes a moot point. Luckily this doesn't seem to be this problem with your g-ma (the anger issue). I think my mom's anger stems from the fear of getting older as she's very independent and doesn't want to think about what this forgetfulness *might* mean, so won't discuss it all. There are mental tests doctors can do to determine levels of forgetfulness - I can't think what they're called now, lol :)


Good luck and hugs!











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