Mistakes :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Mistakes :)
9
Tue, 10-23-2012 - 2:20am

How do you handle it when your partner makes a mistake?

(I'm talking about an honest mistake - forgot to pay the cable bill or something!)

My hubby makes a LOT of mistakes ALL the time. I always feel like a b-otch when I say anything. Obviously I don't yell at him or anything...but even saying something like, "what is wrong with you?" when I'm exasperated isn't very nice either :(

Dee (formerly Passion8te - but can't log in with that nic right now!)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Sun, 10-28-2012 - 2:41am

No, doesn't look he has ADD. He does have a memory problem tho! He can tell you about every NHL draft back to '72 but cant' remember anything from this week. He carries a notebook at work and writes everything down. He also has a blackboard in the kitched where he writes all this stuff down. The soccer wasn't there bc I signed our son up and I have taken him the first few weeks. He mentioned that I should have written it there - you can imagine how that went over ;-)

Ironically I don't need to write anything down as I have 80% retention of everything I read. Funny pair we make, LOL.

Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Sat, 10-27-2012 - 11:38pm

Stormydancer, does your husband take responsibility for the mistakes he makes?   Does he try different techniques and time management to stop the mistakes from happening?

Has he always been forgetful and disorganised?     Is there a possibility of him having a problem such as ADD?

I think you need step and and help him find solutions.  If he's chronically disorganised, the two of you really need to get to the bottom of the cause and take steps to improve the situation.

Something as simple as a daily planner could work.   Or if it could be ADD, seeking professional help would be very wise.   Good luck

 

  

Avatar for mrosie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2000
In reply to: mrosie
Sat, 10-27-2012 - 8:57am

That sounds like a bad day all the way around!

Although I primarily take care of the bills, I have it set up so that DH can take a look at our financials at any time. It helps that we have everything on the computer but I also keep a list of bills that are due every month and then mark them off as they're paid.

A family calendar might help him to know where he needs to be and when. ;)

RoseAnn

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Sat, 10-27-2012 - 3:06am
I do take care of the financial planning, budgeting, couponing, meal planning and everything else that involves money. I figured he could handle the bill payments! (I was wrong). But he also burnt the stew for dinner that day. Took our son to soccer at 5:30pm and it was suppose to be 6pm - which in turn left me locked out of our house in the pouring rain! It's always something. I commute 2 hours/day to work. I work FT and I also do odd extra jobs for money. He works 15-20 hours/week. So I can't take over his responsibilities. I think I'm just panicking bc I'm going back to school and I really need him to step it up. I am going to need his support more than ever soon. Thanks for the feedback :) Dee
Avatar for mrosie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2000
In reply to: mrosie
Wed, 10-24-2012 - 10:24am

That's a good point, Misstrygg!

I have been doing the bills in our household since DH and I were dating and I discovered a late notice from the phone company. LOL

I think the person who has goofed has to be given the opportunity to correct their mistake. If someone is too forceful about taking the job over in the future, that might lead to hurt feelings or resentment.

RoseAnn

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
In reply to: misstrygg
Wed, 10-24-2012 - 6:39am

Or better, help him with  the things that he has problem with.  I  do the bills here because I am the one  that has better money sense then my husband.  I know that in some families it is seen as the  husband job to   take care of the money, but really it should be the one who is best at it.

Avatar for mrosie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2000
Tue, 10-23-2012 - 11:21am

I think it's fine to discuss it as long as you aren't turning it into a huge ordeal. Something along the lines of "Is there anything I/we can do in the future to make it easier to remember the cable bill needs paid?"

Avatar for hugss
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
Tue, 10-23-2012 - 9:31am

About the only thing I think you can do is to talk with him & ask how he is doing,
The more you talk other things should come out if you know what I mean.
Good luck & let us know if that helps :)




iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Tue, 10-23-2012 - 5:58am

I sit down and ask my husband  what is wrong with as in, how are you mentally feeling, is every thing allright and then we talk about and try to figure out why and  then I help him.

Yes, I have aparently  the patient of a saint according to him.