nagging - any & all suggestions welcome

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
nagging - any & all suggestions welcome
Sun, 08-26-2012 - 11:34am

Stereotypically, it's women that nag, right?  Well, I am finding out that men nag, too.  I am looking for some suggestions on how to curb my husband's nagging.

For example, we received a late wedding gift from one of his co-workers.  He wanted to mail the thank you card that afternoon since he needed to run some other errands.  He asked me to write the thank you card.  I said that I would but I had some other things I wanted to get done first, and that I would be glad to mail it the next day if he didn't want to wait on his errands for me to write it.  A few minutes later, he's asking me AGAIN to write the thank you card.  I told him again that I would be glad to write it, but that I wasn't doing it that very second, and I also suggested that if he wanted it done right away, perhaps he should write it himself.  Well, he didn't want to do that, and he kept nagging me until I finally just dropped everything and wrote it.

If I could do this situation over, I think I would have just walked away from him.  He would have either had to write the card himself or waited for me to do it when I was finished with the other stuff I was doing.  I probably shouldn't have given in to his nagging, but it was just so annoying that I wanted it to stop.

If I ask him to do something, he does it, but he doesn't generally do it right that second.  Which is fine and I don't nag him or give him a timeline.  I've thought about passively aggressively doing the same thing to him that he does to me, but that doesn't really seem like a good way to handle the situation.

Does anyone have any suggestions for how I should talk to him about this?  Any and all advice is welcome.

Avatar for mrosie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2000
Sun, 08-26-2012 - 12:14pm

I will admit that I am the one more prone to nagging in our relationship. DH and I have had to come to some understandings about expectations when we ask for things. I have learned to clarify with DH when he thinks he might get something done (usually some household chore) and if that's not acceptable to me, I do it myself.

In the situation you describe, I almost immediately wondered why you were expected to write the thank you note in the first place. The gift was from *his* coworker and he was the one in a hurry to have it written and delivered so it seems to me that it's not at all unreasonable to expect him to write the thank you and deliver it himself.


Avatar for hugss
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
Sun, 08-26-2012 - 7:14pm
Does sound like you'll need to talk with him about this,
Or let it go/walk away the next time he *nags* you about something ::sigh::
Good luck :smileyhappy: