no sex!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2010
no sex!
4
Wed, 11-03-2010 - 11:08am

We have been married for 32 yrs and in the last 2 yrs my husband just does not seem interested in sex. He sleeps in the spare room as he says my hot flushes wakes him up! he only wants sex about twice a month if im lucky and it lasts for all of about 5 mins. Now i have been on web sites recently where men have told me they cannot understand it im an attractive lady so they say and feel quite horny most of the time but cannot get him to open up to me. The people i have been speaking to seem to think he is having an affair but dont know when he would do that !

Avatar for hugss
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
In reply to: susie19582005
Wed, 11-03-2010 - 11:50am

Good to see you here Susie,
Let me ask you this .. is your DH on any kind of meds for anything?
Sometimes that can




iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2010
In reply to: susie19582005
Wed, 11-03-2010 - 1:08pm

No not on any meds and I have talked to him on many occasions says there is not problem.

Avatar for hugss
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
In reply to: susie19582005
Wed, 11-03-2010 - 1:35pm
susie19582005 wrote:

No not on any meds and I have talked to him on many occasions says there is not problem.

Hi Susie,
OK then how about some counseling ?
Is that something he would do?
Obviously there is a problem ..




Avatar for mrosie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2000
In reply to: susie19582005
Wed, 11-03-2010 - 2:00pm

Welcome to the board! We do have another conversation going on about this topic that was initiated by a man but I will warn you that our members are 99% women so don't be disappointed if you only get advice from other women.

One red flag in your post is the fact that you are seeking advice, apparently from other men, on websites and accepting their take on things (that he's having an affair) when you know your DH better than they possibly could.

I would suggest that you communicate with your DH about this. Let him know that you miss the intimacy in your marriage and ask what the two of you can do to rekindle that. Find out why your alcohol consumption bothers him, point out the double standard (that he drinks also) and figure out if there is a compromise you can reach that would appeal to you both.

Devote some time and energy to planning a special day, evening or weekend that could include a romantic dinner or couples getaway to help you connect with each other again.

Please let us know how things are going!

RoseAnn