Sex and Marriage?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2010
Sex and Marriage?
Sat, 09-22-2012 - 10:38pm
Lady's I have been having a bit of an issue latel. I am 25 and I am a Virgin and I am saving myself for marriage but a lot of the guys I've been talking too say they can't wait until marriage and say "its not natural or good for a relationship to wait that long" or say "you wouldn't buy a car without test driving it would you?" to me I have stood my ground this long and I am not backing down and want to wait until marriage but yet I don't know if that special guy will come and wait for me. What should I do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2010
Mon, 09-24-2012 - 10:31am
Well I'm waiting and if it takes years n years then oh well I am NOT backing down on this.
Avatar for mrosie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2000
Mon, 09-24-2012 - 10:37am

I admire you for that! And I think the right man will respect your decision and support your desire to wait.

The most important thing is that you be open in your communication and not let an individual's or society's expectations get the better of you!


Avatar for hugss
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
Mon, 09-24-2012 - 11:11am
Good for you :smileyhappy:

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
Mon, 09-24-2012 - 2:45pm

Follow your gut and do what is right for YOU.  Marry Tim Tebow (the NFL quarterback)!  lol  He's your age and a virgin, too!  (I saw him on tv the other day and he said, he will also remain a virgin until his wedding night. )  How refreshing in this day of "do whatever feels good" that there are still young people, such as yourself and Tim, that have morals and values.  Kudos to you! 

All that being said, unfortunately, I would guess most men of your generation expect to have sex before marriage.  You might want to consider when the right guy comes along to perhaps change your mind.  I doubt there are many young men out there who care about marrying a virgin.  Just don't let any man talk you into doing something you don't feel is right.  When the right one comes along, you'll know it and may change your mind all by yourself. 

I'm 52 years old, btw...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
Mon, 09-24-2012 - 7:17pm

First of all GOOD FOR YOU!!! :smileyhappy:

Don't listen to those jerks.All they care about is themselves..oh and about the car thing...I HATE when people say that! First of all...we're not a car.We are human beings who have a mind of our own and know what we want...unlike a car! lol

You stick to your guns and don't let anyone tell you differently.I lost my virginity at age 29.I had gotten married to my husband so I ended up losing my virginity to him.It wasn't something that I had planned.I had been with him for 5yrs off and on...I had a medical issue that I hadn't resloved so that's why things turned out the way it did BUT I am very honored to say that I DID lose my viginity to my many people can say that in this day and age?! Not many so just keep doing what you do for yourself and no one else.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Mon, 09-24-2012 - 8:07pm

My ex and I were together for close to 4 years and he was happy with oral sex. I have never had intercourse sex becuz that type isn't happening until marriage.

Just out of curiosity, why is it OK to have oral sex and but not intercourse?  Not saying there is anything wrong, but some of us would like to hear your logic behind this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2010
Tue, 09-25-2012 - 12:24am

Because I think having sex before marriage is wrong and I don't want to end up like my family and friends. They had sex in their committed relationships and then that guy or girl broke up with them or they got pregnant or got a sickness or something happened. I did not want this to happen to me so I am very catious when it comes to these types of matters and I just think saving intercourse for marriage is the proper thing to do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Tue, 09-25-2012 - 12:57am

Because I think having sex before marriage is wrong ...

I see.  So in your book oral sex does not count as sex.

They had sex in their committed relationships and then that guy or girl broke up with them or they got pregnant or got a sickness or something happened.

1.  People sometimes break up in relationships, whether you have sex or not.  They guy you had oral sex with broke up with you, right?

2.  MANY people have sex and do not end up pregnant. There are things called contraceptives/protection.

3.  You can catch diseases from oral sex just as easily as intercourse.  Again, the key word is protection.

4.  ... "or something happened".  Something is ALWAYS happening.  I think that's called life.

I guess I still don't get the logic, if there is any, behind all this.  But it probably doesn't matter.  Good luck in finding someone!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2010
Tue, 09-25-2012 - 3:40am
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Tue, 09-25-2012 - 6:47am

But you get STD as easy from oral sex as vaginal and some cases they can be harder to treat when they are oral. Does  your future partner has to be a virgin?

What happens if you find your soulmate and he isnt a virgin?