Should DH pay for bro college fees after he failed 3 yrs?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Should DH pay for bro college fees after he failed 3 yrs?
14
Sun, 05-15-2011 - 9:44am

Hi Guys.

It's wonderful to know that you are here for support. Ok. I hope not to be LONG. I am 31 Dh 38, no children yet i had 2 miscarriages in the past 6 mths. I met my DH 5 years ago, married for 2. I was single with my own small business & was living in an apartment at my mom house. I had bad experience with my fam since i was in a long distance relationship and was helped out financially. They would always ask for something which i would give. My DH had the same experience with his dad who never took care of him. His mom went to another country 8 years ago. Presently i am not employed, my DH is. We are still living in my moms apartment since she is not in this country, we are hoping to get our own home next year. This thing is my DH younger brother got a scholarship and failed 3 yrs in a row and was sent back to this country. Now his he is going to university here and my DH mom expects my husbands to pay his fees. My DH studied and it was very hard he took a loan. His mom was there for him while growing up but it was still hard. i have never seen her and i started asking my DH to communicate with her more since she is his mom. I aam very skeptical since her brother told me she is very greedy and always want. firts she used to send small gifts for me and since i stop telling her my business she would send little stuff on DH birthday and not a sweetie for me. i talk to her like once a month and i stopped for a while. For the past 4 years she has been calling and telling us about different friends of hers who have places to rent telling us we should rent a place. My DH is does not say much but he deos not like it. I am making alot of sacrifices here since this apartment is small. Now his brother is calling him and bugging him for $$ & we do not have much. I was in an accident and i took my saving to buy another car so my husband will be less stressed. So after being here for five years at my mom apartment making sacrifices. I have alot of things that i need and am doing without for now. Should i allow my DH to pay for his bro fees for 4 years?

Pages

Avatar for mrosie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2000

Welcome to the board!

It's really hard to say whether your DH should pay his brother's college fees or not. What's important is that you and your DH present a united front on this matter. Until you can both agree on the extent that you should assist your BIL, I think it would be best for you to hold off.

I hope you can find a resolution that works for everyone! It can be really difficult to redefine the rules when a family member has become accustomed to a certain amount of financial assistance.

RoseAnn

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008

Thank you. I told DH TO MAKE THAT

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008

Thanks for the replies.

I forgot to mention that i do pay the taxes and insurance.

Avatar for hugss
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010

Hi & welcome to the board :)

I do agree with Roseann,
In that whatever you decide should be agreed on between the two of you.
Personally I am inclined to not lend him the money since he has not done well.
Let's see what others have to say too .. so do check back.
Hope we'll see you here again :)




iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008

Well MY DH said he Will figure out something. He is giving him the $$ since he have exams today and cannot write it without paying the fees.This is his first year. I am so pissed that last time i spoke to his mom she was out in NY shopping. I will not take this, they don't even call to find out How DH is doing always want want, want. I saw a text on my DH phone from his brother. "Hi Bro was just checking up on the thing"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008

The brother does not intend to pay it back.

Avatar for hugss
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010

No that is not right at all,
Wow too bad your DH decided to go ahead & do this ::sigh::
Why doesn't the brother intend to pay it back?
Why can't he get his own school loan ?
Good luck :)




iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008

He had a scholarship and failed 3 years. He cannot get anyone to sign for his loan.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008

These people are just wicked.

Avatar for hugss
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
Oh this is not good ::sigh::




Pages