trust issues...please help!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2010
trust issues...please help!!
Sun, 10-31-2010 - 5:06pm

hi all...i'm new here and i'm having a problem with my fiance i was hoping someone might have some advice about.

Avatar for hugss
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
Sun, 10-31-2010 - 7:20pm

Hi candy & welcome to the board :)

Well I have to say that trust is one of the most important things in any relationship,
Now he has lied to you 3 times & to me that is a lot.
It also sends up a red flag as far as I am concerned.

I strongly suggest you sit down with him & let him know the fact that he has lied is a huge issue for you
Indeed what if it does happen again .. what will you do?
He knows you will not tolerate lying yet is continuing to do this?
Marriage, engagements should not have anything but truths!
If he can't be honest with you now before marriage ..
What makes he/you think he can/will after marriage?

Let's hear what others suggest so do check back :)

Avatar for mrosie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2000
Mon, 11-01-2010 - 11:14am

I agree with hugss on this one. He needs to understand that you won't tolerate dishonesty in your relationship and keeping secrets is a form of dishonesty.

You don't mention if you have set a date for the wedding but this is something you definitely need to sort out before taking that step.

If you aren't already getting premarital counseling, I would highly recommend it and I would encourage you to be up front with your counselor about this existing issue between you.

Please let us know how things are going for you.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Mon, 11-01-2010 - 7:39pm

Wow - this post really got my attention - I'm only posting to one board now - but I just had to echo what the other posters said.