Unhealthy and/or unsafe habits of spouse

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Unhealthy and/or unsafe habits of spouse
18
Mon, 04-16-2012 - 1:08am

TO ALL-

In your opinion, how much and what is a spouse's obligation to confront about unhealthy and unsafe habits?

My wife of five years is great. However, certain things have me concerned. She doesn't like to exercise. She has a gym membeship, but hasn't set foot in the gym in over two years. She could happily avoid fruits and vegetables, except for grains. She drinks quarts of Diet Coke every day. She also is significantly overweight, which doesn't affect my desire for her, but could affect her health. She also will stay late at her school in an unsafe neighborhood.

It is not my style to be a nag. Also, while everything I describe raises the odds of trouble in the future, it's still not guaranteed to happen. Moreover, I could conceivably ruin her fun only for her to die relatively young from an airplane crash. (G-d forbid) So, I want to hear from others. How much do you think a spouse should intervene?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Wed, 04-18-2012 - 2:16pm

Well as my husband sees about my health and I see about my husband health,

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Thu, 04-19-2012 - 12:38am

You didn't answer my question about continuing to do the same thing and expecting different results? :smileywink:

My approach just seems aggressive bc you don't know all the particulars of my r/ship. My DH was the inventor of the "go for dinner serious talk"...we have one scheduled for Fri as we are both considering careers moves.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Thu, 04-19-2012 - 2:52am

And I don't find your way aggressive at all,

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Thu, 04-19-2012 - 6:38pm

What were her lifestyle and eating habits like when you started to date her?

I do feel that it's a personal duty when in a relationship to upkeep yourself and be safe and live as long as you can - aka wear a seat belt, eat well, exercise. That person may need some support from their spouse (aka like I am a good cook so I do most of the cooking).

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Fri, 04-20-2012 - 1:16am
passion8te wrote:

You didn't answer my question about continuing to do the same thing and expecting different results? :smileywink:

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Fri, 04-20-2012 - 3:28am

But nagging isnt what people is telling you to do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Fri, 04-20-2012 - 9:38am
misstrygg wrote:

But nagging isnt what people is telling you to do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Fri, 04-20-2012 - 12:27pm

Still depends on how you do it.

Pages