Wedding question?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Wedding question?
14
Sun, 02-13-2011 - 5:48pm

My best friend is getting married.

Missy

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Avatar for hugss
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
Sun, 02-13-2011 - 11:13pm

Hi Missy,
Welcome to the board :)

Have you spoken with her since you know you are not invited?
Is she registered ?
I think you could do any of those choices you suggested/asked about.
Let's hear what others have to say so do check back :)




iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2001
Mon, 02-14-2011 - 5:48am
I would send a gift and no flowers. Perhaps they will be going away on a honeymoon or long weekend and in which case the flowers would not be viewed and enjoyed. I would send the gift to their home either ahead of time or shortly thereafter the wedding or the honeymoon. They have enough to plan an think about right before the wedding no matter how intimate it is.
Avatar for msally99
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-14-2011 - 9:58am

I say send a gift to their home shortly before the wedding or after the honeymoon.

I am much more particular about etiquette than many people are, but technically a gift should never be taken to the wedding. All gifts should be sent to the couple's home or that of their parents. (I assume this is because it's inconvenient to plan for transporting and storing gifts for the couple after they leave the reception.)

Avatar for mrosie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2000
Mon, 02-14-2011 - 11:03am

I think it's really nice that you are trying to think of something thoughtful to do for your friend since you aren't invited to share the day in person.

I would probably send a card and gift to their home.

If you want to send flowers, I would wait until they are home and send them there. I'm sure they have the flowers all figured out for the day of the ceremony.

RoseAnn

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Wed, 02-16-2011 - 11:22am

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Avatar for mrosie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2000
Wed, 02-16-2011 - 12:26pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Wed, 02-16-2011 - 1:46pm

Hi Missy,

I agree with the others that sending a gift to be opened after they return from their honeymoon would be

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2009
Thu, 02-17-2011 - 1:17pm
Not to be a devil here but even if my best friend was out of state and I knew she wouldnt be able to make it, I would still send an invitation. Its normal courtesy and a gesture and an ackowledgment that she is still special, in spite of distance.
Avatar for mrosie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2000
Thu, 02-17-2011 - 2:21pm

And if she responded that she couldn't wait to attend? Would you then tell her that you really only intended to have family at the wedding? I think there are many other ways to make people feel special than to invite them to things that you really don't want them to attend.

In the case of a small wedding with a limited guest list and special friends at great distances, a wedding announcement would be much more appropriate and lead to less potential confusion.

RoseAnn

Avatar for msally99
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-17-2011 - 2:50pm

I have to agree with RoseAnn. It's easy (and inexpensive!) to order beautiful wedding announcements, especially if they are ordered with the other wedding stationery.

Announcements are a great way to "include" people in the start of a marriage without inviting them to the wedding. I know some people feel that annoucements may be seen as a gift-grab, but you can easily include an insert (or print directly on the annoucement) stating "no gifts."

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