What Does a Healthy and Happy Marriage Look Like?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2006
What Does a Healthy and Happy Marriage Look Like?
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Mon, 06-27-2011 - 9:42am

I realize that all couples are different and what works for one couple may not work for another. I also realize that there are ups in downs in a marriage. But I am wondering what is it that makes a marriage succeed? What does a happy and healthy marriage look like? What are the qualities in a marriage that one should strive towards? When things get tough how do you work things out? What are your beliefs about marriage?

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Avatar for hugss
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Registered: 09-25-2010

Hi & welcome to the board :)

You're right when you say what works well for one couple may not work for another
I have been married almost 32 years this summer.
I think two huge factors are compromise & communication ..




Avatar for msally99
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Registered: 03-26-2003

The easiest way to have a

Avatar for mrosie
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Registered: 03-23-2000

goddess_cham wrote:

I realize that all couples are different and what works for one couple may not work for another. I also realize that there are ups in downs in a marriage. But I am wondering what is it that makes a marriage succeed? ~Although every couple is different, I think there are a few fundamentals that are required for any marriage to be healthy. Honesty, Trust, Good Communication, Forgiveness, and Common Values and Interests will help most couples navigate the ups and downs of the sometimes complicated relationship of marriage.

What does a happy and healthy marriage look like? ~Again, there are some variabilities depending on the couple. I think a happy and healthy marriage include respect between the partners and extends to their children, extended families and friends. I also think a good marriage includes a healthy dose of laughter. Whether it's enjoying something funny together during the good times or finding the slightly humorous in the more difficult times, finding things to laugh at together can help a couple build a stronger bond and collect up good memories for the tough times that may lie ahead.

I think every individual is looking to be heard and understood and appreciated and most couples will have a number of activities that they enjoy doing together. Whether that's world travel, exotic classes, sporting activities or just watching TV or movies at home together, that bonding time is a good thing.

What are the qualities in a marriage that one should strive towards? ~I think

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Registered: 01-07-2008

p
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Registered: 04-08-2008
My marriage started with me being emotionally healhty and happy so it's just a continuation of that.

I believe a marriage succeeds when the partners both know the true authentic person and love/respect that person. People use the word love w/o it's true meaning - it means to value, to cherish, to care about your partner. I've had men "love" me who didn't do those things so clearly they didn't know how to love.

When things get tough, my husband & I will talk things out. If the "tough" is something situational, then we will plan - a strategy to deal with the situation or a way to avoid it in the future. If you mean tough between the two of us - I'm not really sure. We get mad at each other but we get over it very quickly (never more than minutes). Whoever did something to bother the other will usually apologize bc neither of us wants to make the other unhappy. Life is too short to be unhappy.

Our beliefs about marriage are that we planning a life together. We are sharing ourselves in a special way and we will work to keep it and nurture it.

Avatar for mrosie
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Registered: 03-23-2000

You touched on something that I think the rest of us omitted: it's important for both members of a healthy relationship to have a healthy and accurate view of themselves and be willing to share themselves completely with someone else. It's true what "they" say that you can't love someone else until you've learned to love yourself!

RoseAnn

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Registered: 12-16-2004

People have allready said was is healthy marriage

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Registered: 04-08-2008
That is exactly what I meant. It is sounds easy to have a healthy and accurate view of yourself, but it actually very difficult. Most of us wear masks or project an image of the "person we want to be"...but we can't keep all that up w/a life partner. Cracks will form in the masks and the true self will emerge during stress.

We all have issues. My DH and I both need to see the other person working on their issues or we risk losing respect for them. We don't need to triumph - just try. Otherwise, we feel the person is copping out. However, I understand others feel differently about this and respect their right to live their life their way. But...I don't have to be their partner either ;-)

I could have written an essay about this topic (I did delete a lot from my original post)

Deanne
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Registered: 12-16-2004

I stopped wearing a mask years ago,

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Registered: 01-07-2008

p

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