Working Partners what do you women think?

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Working Partners what do you women think?
10
Fri, 08-31-2012 - 5:42am

Quote: “I have no objection to women who want to work, what I object to is those who have too” John Wayne

 

Do you feel that this quote has in meaning in today’s world?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Re: Working Partners what do you women think?
Fri, 09-07-2012 - 6:51am

Such a different world you're describing!   While I'm sure there were some very positive aspects, I wouldn't trade my current world for it.    Your comment about spanking made me very glad we've gotten past those times.

As someone who was born in 1967 and into the world after the feminist movement became active, I have to say that I can't relate to what you were taught about women being 'special'.   I'd much rather be viewed as an equal...and quite frankly, i enjoy being treated as one of the boys.  I like boy humour!      And yes, I want to be treated with respect - but a respect which goes both ways between men and women.  

I don't want a man who loves me more than himself.  Instead, I need someone who puts himself on an equal level to me.     His needs are no less important than mine, so I do not wish to be treated as if I am more important.   Likewise, our children's needs are no less or more important than our own.   It's a matter of balance with give and take from all parties.   As a matter of fact, hubby does provide for us, but this is because I'm a carer to our disabled son and not because I'm female.   If I were the primary breadwinner, hubby would be carer and I'd be supporting the family.

You talk about all the things wrong with the world and I agree that there are many problems out there.   But I'm also grateful for all the advances we've made.   My disabled son has been born into a world of acceptance and tolerance.  Where kids greet him by name in the local shops.....but 50 years ago he may well have been locked away in some type of asylum.    My daughter has a good male friend who goes by both a female and male name depending on his mood at the time.   She told me that she thinks it's cool because he can marry a man or a woman when he grows up.   Sadly, she's not strictly correct, but I hope that the world evolves further by the time he's of age and he will truly have a choice.      Certainly, we're closer to this equality than we were 50 years ago.

Your comments on education do make me despair though.   Here in Australia, our public schools do seem to be suffering a drought of kids from middle/high socio economic backgrounds.    The only exceptions being the smart kids who get into academically selective classes.  (I have one child in public school academically selective and one in public school special ed)    It makes me sad because I choose public schooling so that my kids get to see all walks of life.  The the reality is that the schools seem to be missing out on regular achieving kids from good socio economic background.

Avatar for mrosie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2000
Sat, 09-01-2012 - 10:07am

I wholeheartedly agree with you! I've always loved the Little House... books and TV show but the reality is that life was hard and life as a woman was very different than it was now: fewer options, fewer opportunities for your opinion to be heard, control from fathers, husbands, society. I may have survived in that time but I wouldn't have been happy.

I also think many people look at the 50s through rose-colored glasses. Sure, it's unfortunate that parents don't feel safe leaving their kids outside to play but the flip side is that child abuse, domestic violence, racism, while still present unfortunately, aren't tolerated with a blind eye like they used to be.

RoseAnn

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Sat, 09-01-2012 - 12:14am

I'm watching Mad Men right now and if the '60s were anything like that, I'd prefer now thank you.

Working women were called "the girl" and treated with little respect.

Women were not asked their opinions since they were considered inferior.

We were told what to do by our fathers and then our husbands.

Domestic violence was "ok" as long as it was kept behind closed doors.

Being gay was dangerous.

Children from the wrong side of town had very few opportunities for education and jobs. There were no women doing what mrsrosie did back then. Either you had the money or you didn't get an education.

If you were of minority (esp African American), you were treated as second class citizens and not allowed to hold any positions of power.

I could go on. But you were a boy. A white boy living a middle class lifestyle. The only better than that would have been to be white and rich.

 

I'm not trying to start a fight but I got the tail end of this even in the '70s as my parents were very OLD SCHOOL.

Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Sat, 09-01-2012 - 12:07am

It's outdated. The reality is that our standard of living is eroding to the point that most of us need 2 incomes.

Like pat22, I am the breadwinner in my family so I have no choice. Luckily I live in Canada and was able to take a year off with the birth of each child.

I have worked since I was 13 yrs old and I think it has been good for me. I am strong and independent with healthy self esteem. I'm not sure I would be this emotionally healthy if I just stayed home w/my children all day. Of course, on the other side of it is how they feel about it. My DH works shift work so he can be home a lot while I am at work so the children are not in daycare.

The only problem is that we don't have as much quality time as a couple. And even less time for friends or social activities. But it's worth the sacrifice.

 

Dee

 

 

 

Avatar for mrosie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2000
Fri, 08-31-2012 - 5:03pm

I know my own upbringing has effected my perspective. I find it shocking the number of people who feel they have to provide for their children when those children are adults. One of my coworkers has a 25-y.o. daughter who is married and he still bought her plane ticket to a friend's wedding last month!

It's not like my parents wrote me off when I turned 18 but my college education belongs to me because I worked to pay for it. Summer jobs, scholarships, loans. Those are my responsibility, not my parents.

Same goes for weddings, IMHO. It's nice when parents can provide some assistance toward an event but it shouldn't be the blank check that many brides seem to expect.

I don't mean this to sound harsh. JMHO

RoseAnn

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
Fri, 08-31-2012 - 3:32pm

It makes me sad that in today's society that so many women don't have the choice whether to work or not.  I agree with everything Rosie said.  Our society in the last 50 years has become one of needing two incomes which I think is a shame. 

I personally was one of the fortunate ones that had that choice and made the best one for ME.  Raising my 4 daughters as a SAHM were the best years of my life and I loved it.  Like Ann Romney, I feel very blessed that I was given that privilege and choice.  Unfortunately, now, in my 50's I HAVE to work full-time to help with DDs' college, weddings, etc...all those things the ex used to take care of.  Also, new dh doesn't have near enough to retire on, so that's another goal we have...to save more, but unfortunately helping kids hasn't allowed us to do that yet.  I would LOVE to work part-time and dh said he'd have no problem with that if my kids weren't still needing my help. 

 

Avatar for hugss
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
Fri, 08-31-2012 - 11:43am
It is kind of sad so many women have to work now a days,
However the ones that can allow it to be their choice is a good thing.
Many reasons why many do I am sure :smileyhappy:




Avatar for mrosie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2000
Fri, 08-31-2012 - 10:06am

Sadly, I think there are a number of reasons that many women today feel they have to work. Divorce, long-term unemployment, rising prices. All of those things contribute to the need for a second (or only) income in a household and women are sometimes in the position to have to step up and help provide for their families.

I am fortunate that DH and I could live comfortably on his salary and benefits but I enjoy working (most of the time) and I like to think that we are both working toward joint goals of paying off our house, early retirement and frequent travel.

We also don't have kids so that makes the decision a lot easier for us.

RoseAnn