The Wow Factor

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2011
The Wow Factor
22
Sun, 09-11-2011 - 11:14am

I'm a guy, and am very interested in the views of married women regarding "chemistry" and dating leading to a long term relationship or marriage. There are regular discussions on the single boards from women above 30 looking for the all elusive chemistry or wow factor. The one thing in common with most of these women, though, is that they

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
In reply to: jt308
Wed, 09-14-2011 - 11:54am

I have only had evident, instant chemistry with two men in my entire life and, luckily for me, DH is one of them.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2006
In reply to: jt308
Wed, 09-14-2011 - 2:22pm
JT308 wrote:

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
In reply to: jt308
Wed, 09-14-2011 - 3:27pm
Good to see you here again Deb :)




iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
In reply to: jt308
Wed, 09-14-2011 - 5:19pm

So my question is - when first meeting your husband, was there a wow right away? Or did you have to date a while to discover he had many of the qualities you wanted and you both related well? If you didn't have

Avatar for msally99
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jt308
Thu, 09-15-2011 - 12:47am

I think this is a fantastic question!

Let me say first that I think the "chemistry" to which you're referring is about more than just sexual attraction. It's a feeling of being on exactly the same page with your partner on a range of topics, and knowing (in your gut) that your partner is the right person for you and therefore you are likely to stay on the same page for the long haul.

When I married my now-XH, we did not have that chemistry. He was my best friend, and at 26, I thought that meant I should marry him. He was a good man, devoted to me, and I loved him fiercely. But looking back, it is clear that we did not have that chemistry.

DH and I met when I was 17 and he was 20. Although we lost touch for 14 years, and did not reconnect until after my divorce, the chemistry was immediate. It is the reason I never had a doubt about our relationship, and it is the reason I felt comfortable saying "I love you" to him after only six days, and getting engaged after less than a month.

Two-plus years and *many* hardships later, I've still never had a single doubt that DH is the person with whom I was meant to share my life. And I expect that belief to last for the rest of our lives.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
In reply to: jt308
Sat, 09-17-2011 - 10:56pm

My husband seemed to know right away that we were right for each other. I, however, was dating someone else and broke it off ( it wasn't serious) because DH was sure we could make it togetherand kept telling me he thought we would be good together. I agev it a try although I have to be honest when I say I didn't feel the same right away. It took me a good three months or more into the relationship to start feeling that it was going to go somewhere. I had been in two previous long term relationships before meeting him so I wasn't really looking for anything lasting. It turned out that he was right. We were wonderful companions and still are today 7 years later.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
In reply to: jt308
Tue, 09-20-2011 - 3:27pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
In reply to: jt308
Sun, 09-25-2011 - 9:55am

I am rather sure

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2009
In reply to: jt308
Thu, 09-29-2011 - 12:59pm

My husband and I instantly had "chemistry" in that we clicked, had a lot in common, had an easy time talking to each other (which is hard since we are both really shy at first) and seemed to get along well right away, but we never had the fairytale/romance novel kind of chemestry that I think most people expect.







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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2007
In reply to: jt308
Sat, 10-08-2011 - 5:40am

Hi...I'm late in the game with a reply...was lurking around the board and hadn't been in ages...great question!

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