Is it leading towards marriage?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2006
Is it leading towards marriage?
Mon, 10-07-2013 - 8:31pm

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year. We are both in our almost late twenties. We both currently live with family in order to save up money as well. He is actually looking to purchase a home within the next year or so due to certain circumstances  (long story but he has only a year or less). He doesn't want to spend money living in an apartment if he doesn't have to. We pretty much live together on the weekends and see each other once or twice during the week. It honestly is the best relationship I have been in..it just fits and everything seems to fall into place when I am with him. He is very loving towards me, contacts me often, affectionate, genuine to other people. I just know in my heart he is the best person for me and the one i want to spend the rest of my life with. We don't have these long winded discussions about our future but we do say to each other in a sweet voice how we love each other forever and ever. He has said that he knows in his heart we won't ever be apart. Little comments or jokes have come up such as by the time we are married we are gonna be 300 lbs due to certain junk food we have been eating. He mentioned one time that he kind of figured when he got the house that I would be coming with him. He also mentioned he knows it is a big step because most couples start off in an apartment together, not a house. One time I mentioned maybe he should look at open houses himself and he said he doesn't need a 3 bedroom house if I wasn't going to be there in the future, he could just get a condo.

Realistically i understand him being practical with us not getting a house financially together. It's been a year, we aren't engaged yet etc..I can't afford to buy one on my own right now and he is looking to do this soon so he doesn't spend money on an apartment. He said he wants to work alot of OT so I don't have to worry about that. In my mind I know he is just being smart and wants to be the sole owner of the house for now which is completely fine with me.

I guess I would like to be engaged before moving in or atleast one year after. I don't want to live with someone for 2 or 3 years and not have a committment. He did mention one time would you really want me to ask you for financial help if I didn't have enough for a downpayment etc before our relationship was even progressing? So it kind of told me we won't be engaged within the next year. I would just like the gesture of committment. I also know he is very concerned with saving right now so I don't see him purchasing an even practical priced ring for me right now.

It's on my mind but I also feel in my heart it will eventually happen. I am just not sure if I should just continue with the easiness of how things are now and not complicate or rush things by adding pressure. It would basically be me asking i would like to be engaged before moving in or within 6 months after etc.

Should I just let things ride out for now and see what progresses?