Can you fall in love so quickly with a person you've never met?
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|Sun, 02-17-2013 - 6:31am|
I'm so happy to join this site, and very glad I found it.
I'm such a mess right now. I'm in a whirlwind, in unknown territory, don't really know what to do or think. I'm confused in mind and feelings. Of all my painful feelings, the one that stands out is a sharp pain of exasperation, like: Why do I do this? Why does this happn to me? What's wrong with me?
To explain. I'v never been in an LDR. I've joined some sites but never gotten the nerve to really do anything. In any case, I joined this discussion board a couple months ago, of people from my country to discuss stuff, nothing to do with dating and I nevr actually expected any kind of dating to happen. There's a guy who stood out to me in his daily posts and debates. Then, he started messaging him and we quickly moved to mails where we talked and flirted in a manner that clearly showed we were both interested. I thought it was the best raport I'v ever had and as h was planning to move back home in a few months, I started contmplating a possible future relationship. Then after a wonderful few days, a tiny communication problem happened and just like that in a fw short xchanges, I saw everything go up in smoke. In literally tn minutes.
Since I was the one who had misunderstood, I apologized, and asked him if we could go back to "normal". He replied to me, but only an entire day after, but his tone was all different. It was more formal. He did not use pet-names as we had by then made the norm btween us, and which I had used in my apology. He said he admitted to have been puzzled by the misunderstanding, but that it was ok, h apparently has been involved in a few LDRs and is aware of the small misunderstandings that can occur and reaffirmed that he did like me and wanted to know me some more.
I then replied in a nonchalant way, expressing my gladness that things could be less awkward now.
But he did not reply to this, 2 whole days later. It's obvious that he's spending lots of time online, but has not bothered to write me at all. I have decided to avoid that forum for now, because I now feel that when he sees that I'm online, he'll either disappear or send me some short, formal email, just to "get off the hook" but not because he really wants to talk to me. I avoided it in the Weekend, and have so far read it as an observer only a few times, but generaly avoided it especially when I saw that he was there.
My question: The moment I made that mistake, I felt a sharp pain in my heart, quit acute even though I had been talking to him like this only a few days, but on the board a few weeks. He had asked me some personal questions that I answered, but did not reciprocate (evn though he had promised to). I now feel exposed, almost tricked into opening myself up. But most importantly, I feel like I messed up. I one ruined a thing with a guy who I had fallen for because of inability to communicate proprly, took me years to gt over. I don't fall often, but when I do, I do fall fast. This thing has reminded me of the other on and I just feel hopeless, like I can't help but ruin a good thing if it happens to come my way. I had felt like this guy was so intellectually compatible and loved his prsoality as I had seen it on th board and emails.
Too long, I know. But I've been told that I can find advic or atleast support here, so here I am. I have a heart-ache.