Is he cheating?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Is he cheating?
6
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 11:47am
Hey ladies.. well first off.. i have to say.. I LOVE the new board! And secondly... um.. well i kinda have a problem.. my SO lives 4hrs from em.. and well.. last night.. he was going to a dinner.. and he was like.. i will call u when i am coming home.. (which he always does) and well.. i never heard from him.. so about midnight i starting calling him until about 2am... and he never answerd his phone.. it started to worry me.. so i went off to bed.. and then this morning i called him around 9.. and he didnt answer.. so i called him back around 10.. he did.. he said that he was sleeping and that he would call me later.. so about 20mins later i hoped online.. and he was on.. so i was like.. hey sweetie.. can we talk for a second.. Him: whats on ur mind.. i was like.. well, u never called me.. and i was really worried about you.. please next time call me.. u know that i freak out about those kind of things.. well anyway.. and then i was like.. are we still together.. and he was like..and why wouldn't we be TARA?!?!?!?! and i was like.. i have that werid feeling.. and he was like.. well sweetie.. i dont have time for this i need to be get going to work.. i will call u later.. and i was like.. well that is all i wanted to know.. he was like.. well i will call u tonight, have a good day, i love you baby, and he sent me a rose!!! um.. maybe its the distant thing that is freaking me out.. but he has never in the past gave me a reason NOT to believe him.. but.. it was just weird that he didnt call me last night.. when HE KNOWS that i freak out!!!!! HELP??!?!?!!?

Thanks ladies...

~*Tara*~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: ctara
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 2:03am
Based on experience, I disagree with the other posts. When my guy changed

from always checking in to not being around to answer the phone because he was "working late," "sleeping," etc., it turned out he was seeing other people. I discovered

this way after the fact because I didn't want to believe he would do that because

he was always telling me I was the one he wanted to be with forever. Actions

speak louder than words ... and words are cheap. My motto today is ...

trust but verify.

Avatar for laramary2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: ctara
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 3:49pm
*I* hate over reacting, unless *I* do it, THEN, of course, it is understandable.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: ctara
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 3:19pm
Yes, I think you are overreacting and guys hate that. They especially hate to be questioned when they are not in the mood. He may need a break, and if so...give him one. Allow him to miss you some. Hope it gets better for you honey. Hugs!

gail
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: ctara
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 3:12pm
Just some unasked advise..quit the neediness, THAT is a relationship killer. If he din't call it was because he didn't want to call you that night, the morning after and didn't want to answer his phone OR he couldn't. Don't think he's sick, he was in an accident or else, just give him space to be with his friends and enjoy the evening without worrying if you are keeping a tab on him.
Avatar for cl_bratfille
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: ctara
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 1:48pm
Maybe he's moving it to he next level. I think he may think he has your trust and now wants to ease off on all the 'checking in' with you. Sort of relaxing the rules a bit hoping that you'll gie him some breathing room.

My S/O used to say "talk to you tomorrow" all the time and then often would email me saying he was too tired to chat. When I asked him why he always ended a convo with "talk to you tomorrow" , he said that he liked the way it sounds, but not to always take it literally. It's kind of like saying catch you later to someone you know you will run into again. Another thing he used to say was that he needed some time alone to start feeling that he's missing me. He said at one time I make it too easy for him. Men are funny that way but it doesn't mean they are cheating.

I would try backing off a bit and letting him make the next call. He will.

Hang in there.

~Brat~

    

Your CL at: Ask the Healthy Eating Expert <

Avatar for laramary2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: ctara
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 12:04pm
Not trying to be harsh here, but...you NEED to calm down, become secure in the fact that you are in a solid relationship and stop freaking out on him all the time or you WILL chase him away. If you have a problem with what he does or how he treats you, tell him so in a calm and rational manner after you have thought it out yourself. Calling him crying... (not today, but a few days ago, no?), and calling him at all hours, asking him if he is dumping you because he was out late and slept in ONE night (and while he shouldn't take you for granted or forget to call often, once in a while is, really, no big deal).

Theatrics, in general, belong on a stage, NOT in a relationship. You are causing yourself and your SO a lot of unnecessary grief by overreacting.