Making a semi-long distance relationship work

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2013
Making a semi-long distance relationship work
4
Fri, 11-15-2013 - 7:55pm

I'm in a semi-long distance relationship.  We live an hour apart so we are able to see each other a couple times a week.  I have a 13 year old daughter and he has no children.  I totally adore this man, he is kind, generous, loving, affectionate, overall amazing.  The problem?  The distance is so hard.... I live a very simple life, I work and take care of my daughter.  I get with my friends occasionally but not often.  He on the other hand, has no kids, is social and always on the go.  He calls and texts me often and we talk about living together sometime next year.  The problem is I miss him so much when we are not together, it's so hard spending nights alone when we were just together the night before.  Does anyone else have this issue and how do you deal with it?  I tend to get upset sometimes because I miss him and want to be with him. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sat, 11-16-2013 - 10:56am

Before I married 2nd DH we lived 30-45 mins. apart, depending on traffic.  It doesn't sound as long but considering that I had 2 kids and he had 1 at the time (and he had his DD every day since he was a widower) we still couldn't see each other every day.  The maximum time we could spend together was weekends and then 1 night I would go over for dinner at his house and another night we would go out & he'd sleep over.  I have to say that we only got to this schedule after dating quite a long time--at first it was on Thursdays (his DD spent the night with her grandmother) and only every other weekend when my kids were at their dad's.  Yes I missed him but I had plenty of things to do.  I had a full time job, I had 2 kids to take care of, and we'd either email or talk on the phone.  I don't really recall being that upset about it.  Do you feel kind of jealous that he's single & can do what he wants when he's not with you?  Maybe you should concentrate on trying to find things to do that you enjoy when you aren't with him or do things with your DD.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2011
Wed, 12-04-2013 - 11:00pm
Honestly, I just suck it up and deal with it. We are 5 hours apart and I hate it, but that's not going to to change anytime soon. When I really miss him and can;t talk to him, I tend to blow up his email. He understand and doesn;t think I am going crazy, just my way of feeling closer
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2002
Thu, 01-02-2014 - 7:35pm
My Husband and I have been living in two separate countries for the past 3.5 years. It has been very difficult as I miss him soo much. I do see him on the weekends; which in and of itself is makes for a difficult schedule as I can't plan for much with others Friday to Saturday. What I have done is as someone said, try to suck it up. I also try to make my time with him quality time and enjoy it while I am with him. I also know that soon we will finally be back together again full time. I can't wait. We don't fight much since we only see each other on W/E's. We have been married for 10 years and I have cherished every minute. Also, I think finding things to do for yourself or having some friendships is good, it makes the time go much faster in between visits. Make sure that you stay in touch regularly and have faith in him and your relationship!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2013
Mon, 01-20-2014 - 1:58am
Long distance relationships are difficult at times and you naturally tend to miss your spouse. But positive side is that distance makes heart go fonder, I mean there is so much passion and romance when you meet after couple of days. its almost like meeting for the first time. Though you miss him very much in his absence but also cherish those magical moments with him.