Temporary Long Distance Relationship - Need Advice, Please
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|Mon, 02-11-2013 - 7:42pm|
Good morning. I could use some third party opinions on an issue that I am dealing with. Here's the "short" story.
My girlfriend and I started dating in April of last year, so it's been about 10 months now. We live in Virginia and in early January, she went away to in Missouri. We're both big into animal welfare and she is going to school for professional dog training. The school is 20 weeks long and she will be back in May.
Well, I was and am very supportive of this school, it's very well regarded and she will excel at it. We talked before she left and agreed to continue dating and agreed that we both definitely wanted to make it work and give our best efforts to stay together and see what happened when she was done (i.e. could we start a life together in earnest).
The problem is, she is so consumed with school now that it's making things extremely difficult. They go to school from about 8am to 6pm and then train until 10pm-11pm at night. I know this to be true as I know several people who have gone to the school and they all said the same, that it is all consuming and essentially wake up and train or they don't pass. There's a very low pass rate and only the most dedicated students pass. There are plenty of other guys there, but honestly, I don't really have a worry that there is something else going on. She's not the type to do that and I can pretty much tell she is all consumed with training.
My issue is that I am feeling really left out. We text back and forth during the day on and off and we have talked on the phone or on Skype a handful of times (used to be every 2 days), but it's getting tougher. I no longer get texts at night before we go to bed (3 days in a row without), we haven't Skyped/phone talked in 3 days and she just seems too busy to really have any significant engagement. She also won't let anyone (me, her mom, her dad, her cousins) come and visit her at least until she is further in the program as she says she can't spare the time and will get behind with training.
In the end, I know she cares, but I know training and school have become her #1 priority and I am a waaaaaaaay distant #2. I'm not in her shoes, but it seems to be that if she really cared and missed me, she could take 5 seconds to text goodnight before she goes to bed (lots of times she says she just passes out when she is - I can see the bags in her eyes on Skype - before she can) and would find some way to see me if even for a day. I just feel like I am not worth the few seconds some little gestures would take. We've discussed it and she knows how I feel and has made efforts to communicate more which helped, she just gets caught up in school and they tend to fade.
I love this girl to pieces but we've got about 4 months left to go and every day is torture waiting on her to contact me. I don't think I can go on like this and am about ready to break up but not sure I will feel any better knowing she is there by herself and is now single with a bunch of guys. She is the perfect girl for me in so many ways, unlike any other I have met. We have so much in common and get along so well, I really believe we could have a great future if we could get through with this. I'm just not sure we can.