Am I in the wrong or is he?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2011
Am I in the wrong or is he?
Sat, 08-09-2014 - 4:12am

 I need an outside perspective please. First let me tell you a little about myself. I was never one of those people that felt the desire to leave the area I grew up in. I loved being around my family and my  four best friends. I wanted to eventually get married, build a house, get my degree, have kids you know all the typical stuff around that area.  So when I met my husband we were together for about 2 1/2 years when he decided he wanted to move up in the company and he took a job 3 hours away. This broke my heart he gave me an old tomatom said he was leaving with or without me. I thought long and hard decided maybe I needed to go outside of my comfort zone and give my relationship a chance and I moved with him. Well ended up moving 3 more times for his job but none of them were more than 3 hours away from my family. And after 7 years he finally wanted to get married. Each one of those times our finances was strecthed thin and with no impressive work experience I was usually forced to take whatever meanial job I could find quickly. Well we recently moved again and this move is different because my husband is now making good money and I'm 8 hours away from friends and family.  But he consideres this a tempory stepping stone in his career so he has no intention of staying in this place longer than a year. So I told my husband I wasnt going to work  and that I wanted to go to school so I could work toward having a good career someday. I'm taking 9 hours of online classes each semester which usually means an average of about 2 to 3 assignments a day which is ALOT of work. But according to him all I do is sit on my butt all day and do nothing while he works his ass off. I will admit I'm not the best housekeeper but my house is clean. But since I'm not working if the house isnt muesum quality he has no problem telling me how lazy I am and how his side of the family agrees. When I bring up tution or school he ignores me or proceeds to get angry and says since im lazy so he is having to pay all the bills and he cant help me with school and acts like I'm being a spoiled brat. But then he will proceeds to spend $100's of dollars on parts for our vehicles ( his is new, mine is 10 years old and paid off). I'm so frustrated I feel like Ive followed him and his career putting everything in my life on hold for him. And that for once it would be nice to focus on what I wanted in life and be supported in my endeavors. But he makes me feel like I'm an ungreatful spoiled houswife, he acts like a jerk because he says I can't understand how horrible it is that he works that hard and I cant get a job. Even if I tried to get a job we never stay in a location very long so that makes people not want to hire you for decent positions that and this town is very small. Am I wrong for feeling like it's his turn to support me emotionally in something I want to do?  I'd be gratful for any input....(please excuse my bad spelling, grammer, etc.)