I feel stuck, I don't love him, I won't leave him, I can't talk to him
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|Fri, 08-08-2014 - 1:31am|
My husband and I have been married for a short time. He's lazy, unmotivated, overweight, selfish and seemingly incapable of doing anything without my asking him. He tells me that I critacize him all day, everyday and I assure him and the readers I do not! We go to therapy together because we want this to work out and recently we had a break through. As it turns out even when I compliment him he hears something negative. Compliments that are as plain as day are perceived by him as something negative. He is extremely defensive even when I come to him with a light tone and even more childish frequently. I am unhappy and afraid to say anything to him at this point. I constantly watch what I say even though there are issues to address. I am especially careful about what I say now because of our findings in therapy. Another thing that came to light in therapy is that his forgetfullness is limited to anything about someone other than himself. During sex, that I am only having with him because I'm supposed to, his arms can't even hold himself up for very long. He won't exercise to raise his stamina but I'm the bad guy when I say I don't want to have sex. My libido is just fine by the way, I just don't want him to touch me. He doesn't even try to seduce me first, it's always just "do you want to have sex?" if I say "no" he'll ask me "why?" I can't answer that question because technically it will be a criticism so all I can say is "just because..." What a lame answer! And I'm still the bad guy! I can't NOT be the bad guy in any situation and it's gotten to the point where effort is showing no hope of being fruitfull on my end. There are so many other things I could address here but for now I don't even know what I'm looking for in this forum. I don't want to burden my friends and family with all of this and I can't talk to him. So, I need to vent, I would love to hear advice on anything, I will answer questions if anyone would like to take a personal interest in my situation. I'm reaching out because I'm at my wits end and I'm open to hear any input.