If you became seriously ill would your husband stay with you?

Avatar for cmkarla
Registered: 01-03-2001
If you became seriously ill would your husband stay with you?
Mon, 05-05-2014 - 9:11am

Maybe not according to Health Day News. "The marital vows to stay true "in sickness and in health" seem to apply more to wives than husbands when one of the spouses becomes seriously ill, according to novel new research.

Social scientists found that the risk of divorce among older married heterosexual couples rises when the wife, but not the husband, experiences a health crisis such as cancer, heart problems, lung disease or stroke." READ MORE

Your thoughts?

Community ModeratoriVillage.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010

  I have nothing to go on, but I can believe it...that wives are less apt to leave their husbands and stay true to them "in sickness and in health".  I've had 2 husbands and neither has been a good caretaker when I'm sick.  I am by far better and truly believe in the marriage vows.  At 54 and 52, my now dh and I have talked about this and, since we've only been married for 3 years, we work very hard at making our marriage last til death.  We appreciate each other so much more than maybe spouses of long-term marriages because we have both had failed marriages.  We have neighbors in their late 60's and the dh is totally disabled.  The wife still works full-time and they have in-home help.  Dh and I just look at them as inspiration as those who are living the vows.  My personal belief is just that more women than men can handle illness and believe more in the vows than men do.  Again...just in my opinion...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

That's pretty sad.  I have an uncle who is 85 now.  He & my aunt were married over 40 yrs--he was w/ my aunt until she died--I believe she had cancer, although no one really said anything and she also had depression.  Then he was in his 70's and met another lady--she developed leukemia and he stayed with her until she died too.  Now he has a younger GF--maybe she's 75.  She is ok although has some health problems, but so does he, but her DD, who is in her 40's had a brain tumor and now, although she is doing much better, can't live by herself, so she lives w/ her mom & my uncle.  So I guess he is just one of the good guys.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010

This is from a 51 year old man. Remember with statistics that corelation doesn't necessarily mean causality. In general, women are quicker to divorce than men. Women start 2 out of every 3 divorce proceedings. It might not be that the husbands are abandoning their sick wives. It could be the sickness makes the wives grouchier and more ready to see fault in their husbands. Sick husbands might be more easygoing and forgiving towards their wives. Anyway, more research would be good here, so that there are definitive answers, not just speculation.