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|Thu, 04-10-2014 - 11:11am|
I have been married to my second husband for almost 20 years. He is 14 years younger than I am and I love him dearly. I worked my butt off, sold my house and helped him complete a doctorate. I moved 3 times to three different states with him gladly but it took a toll on my retirement. I know better than to believe a man totally but he told me not to worry we would always be a team, and we would put more into his retirement to make up for what I lost changing jobs all the time.
When we got to our current location about 10 years ago, I found a job I liked and then we had a change in management. It was the job from hell to start with, then he decided to go to my office and make a scene. Needless to say I needed to leave after that. Combine that with a major health issue and my stress level is through the roof. I agreed to help him keep his office in line and his finances in his lab. I also help run a summer program he has. This morning he went off on me because I had not done something he felt I should be doing in his office. He was screaming, told me he "had a 1000 things on his plate and didn't have times to deal with my issues". I felt stupid and useless. He has a very short temper, he has never hit me, but he has broken dishes (he did that this morning when he was angry with me) and he has horrible nightmares where he comes out swinging when I wake him up. I know he is under a lot of stress being the only wage earner ( I was like that the first few years we were married and he was in school).
When I was working 50 hours a week he used to come home early, do the minimum at the office and had lots of free time. Now, I admit, the pressure is on him for a change to bring home the bacon. He makes me feel like a burden who costs him money. BTW he hasn't done a thing around the house or yard since I quit working I do it all. Nobody knows we are having issues and he has kept me so close that I don't have many close friends anymore. My family is in another state, (what little I have left).
I swore if I married again I would never divorce, but I am really scared. I am terrified of what will happen to me if we do, I don't have much savings and I could see myself homeless. I am crying as I write this, for heavens sake putting all this out to people I don't even know, how desparate am i????