What should I do?
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|Fri, 08-22-2014 - 5:26am|
i feel like I'm in the pits, and in need of help.
My husband of 7 years recently told me he found out he has a 16 year-old daughter from a previous relationship. I was quite upset and in the midst of being upset, old suppressed feelings surfaced, and now facing the question if a divorce is the best choice for us. You can consider the revelation of the unknown daughter was the straw that broke me.
i know we have a sexless marriage. after our first daughter was born, my libido plummeted. Then it briefly surfaced, and we had our second daughter. My libido then plummeted again. During this time, I masturbated in private a lot, but didn't feel desire to have sex with my husband. When I did want to have sex, he didn't. Over the years, the situation worsened, and now, I feel I have to make a decision what I should do to change my life. I know it is my fault for a sexless marriage. But I feel we do not connect in that way. I don't find him physically attractive anymore, His personality is a turn off to me. And thus, I do not feel physically attracted to him. At times, I find myself saying in my head, 'I hate him. I hate the person I have become now after being with him.' But then I look at my girls, and I am afraid divorcing him will hurt them. We live under the same roof, but do not have any passion for each other. We are civil and talk nice to each other most the time. But there is no spark. i have made an appointment to see a counselor, but he tells me it'll be useless and I have my hopes up too high. I find myself to be a happier person away from him, rather than with him.
So, should I move forward and separate? i am just so unsure what I should do......