why my husband behaving / treating like that

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2012
why my husband behaving / treating like that
3
Wed, 07-02-2014 - 7:31am

HI,

 actually i belong to india in our culture girls live with there inlaws mostly and with her husband.i have no one over there to look after me n my baby in surgury and no one can give me hand to look after my babies as i already have 3year old baby girl. My new baby is just 1mnth old.i came to my parent house i mnth before surgury coz i was quite weak n need care and no one giving much in my in laws house.yup he loves me quite before pregnancy.even during pregnancy he was good to me some time but most of the time he was rude, he even doesnot care about my situation that i am pregnant, he just get harsh with me most of time.if i wasnt feeling well in pregnancy and i said to him i m feeling sick or something like that he most of the time say its just your drama.

Actally i think his mother and younger sister as thet live with us good impact on his mind.they are feeding him against me .his parents house is just five mint drive away from my parent house but he doesnt visit us whole week.

during pregnancy even though doc said to me i shouldnt have sex from as seven mnth started but i never let down his desire untill i came to my parent house.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 07-03-2014 - 10:14am

Well you could tell his family that it's actually the male who determines the sex of the baby so they shouldn't be blaming you for having girls--it's all up to him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2012
Thu, 07-03-2014 - 3:50am

thnx for your reply, yes it was arranged marriage but he also want merry to me. he was good and nce with me. First few moths my inlaws wee fine with me or i would say they most of the time still good with me in front of people or my husband but i heard many time my mother inlaw saying or feeding bad about my to my husband. Actuaaly financially my parents are stronger then my inlaws and my mother inlaw put this thought in my husband mind that , thats why yur wife doesnt like to have talk with us or sit withus bla bla.

 yes he was more eager then me to become a father , coz before marriage he had two time swear pain in leg whick make him to stay on bed for 2,3 mnth. so his reletive said that he cant be father so he was worried after few days of our marriage but thnx TO GOD after a month i got pregnant.

one more thing in our culture people want baby boys but i have two girls so might his parent making him or pulling him away from just because of that but neither he nor his family said anything about a girl to me. he also said to it doesnot matter to him its a girl or daughter but i know his family had that wish.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 07-02-2014 - 11:14am

Did you have an arranged marriage?  I know that is common in India and most of the time it seems to work out.  If so, I am surprised that your in-laws were not nicer to you.  Why do you think your in-laws don't like you?  Was it like this from the time you got married or just recently?

The thing is that no one else can possibly know why your DH is not nice to you.  Has he always been this way?  Did he seem to want to get married and be a father?  Some men don't really like that responsibility.  In any case, you should not have to put up with your DH being mean to you for no reason, but the first thing to do would be to discuss it with him.