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|Wed, 07-25-2012 - 3:50pm|
Here I am again...just needing to vent or maybe ask if anyone else ever feels like they've been thrown back into their first marriage. Here's the scenario I experienced with my dh last night...
All 4 of my DD's were in the state this week for their paternal GF's funeral. They spent 3 whole days with their father and his family, but I assumed they would make a little time for me since I live basically in their father's backyard. Long story short, they were going to give me a whopping couple hours before they left (day 4). I had assumed my DD28 who lives in CA was going to spend her last night at my place, but nooo...she stayed at her father's. My DD26 didn't even have the decency to tell me her plans at all and spent all nights with her father, so I texted DD28 Tuesday morning, that I didn't NEED or WANT her and her sister's "crumbs of time", so I was going to work (had planned on taking the day off) and they could just go home. So, I didn't seem them at all. My older 2 have favored their father since the divorce (5 years ago) and it still hurts.
Needless to say, I was VERY upset and needed comforting. Dh of course was upset with my DD's for doing this to me AGAIN, but didn't really show compassion. I expected him to hold me while I cried but he just kept his distance. I laid on the couch and he never made a move to console me physically. I finally was very honest with him and told him that I felt like I had married the same man all over again. My ex was the same way. Is it just the 2 men I've married in my life that are like this or do most men have difficulty showing compassion and sympathy?? I told him he acted just like my ex and look how well THAT marriage ended! The nice thing about dh is that he DOES tend to listen and then step up to the plate, unlike my ex. But, in thinking about it, my oldest and youngest DD's are just like their father in this respect and totally shy away from people who are hurting emotionally. I finally had to forgive my DD28 for how she acted during the divorce...totally favoring her father and running away from me when I got emotional and sad. Bottom line...was I expecting too much from dh?