Advice needed about dealing w? his EX

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2004
Advice needed about dealing w? his EX
8
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 11:35am

Hi ladies, I need some advice on dealing with his ex. I am moving into the same town that his ex and him live in (they live seperately of course) but Bill and I have bought a home together. He will not be moving in for a 1 1/2 (he is being deployed) anyhow, My question is this.... How should we tell her that we're together and going to get married? Also how do I in genera, deal with her when I see her around town? Any and all advice is welcomed- thank-you.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 12:31pm

My question to you is, Have you had a relationship of some sort with his ex in the past?

PAMELA

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2004
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 1:28pm
No need to have a conversation unless if you want to find out her side of the divorce story. I wish I had that opportunity & wisdom prior to marraige.

Dandelion

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2004
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 2:13pm

Now, that is an interesting thought....I never really thought about that. My thoughts were just in general ...dealing with her etc. I know she isn't gonna like me anyway because he left her and she didn't want a divorce per say. Anyway , just wondered what some of you went through when ex found out her ex was getting married, and how you coped.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2004
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 2:27pm

My question to you is, Have you had a relationship of some sort with his ex in the past?

No, I haven't , but she knows Bill & I have a past and she doesn't like me. So I know that she will not be happy at all.If not, then I don't see why the need.

  Are his children involved?  Will they be living with you?  If so, then he probably needs to talk to her.  

Yes, there are children involved and they live primarly with her, however they will be staying with us on weekends and holidays.

I know you have children.  How has her relationship been with him since they seperated?  I guess I could go back to the other posts. 

There relationship since they seperated has been ok, some arguements over money and things like that. She of course hates him and he does nothing right when it comes to the kids etc. Anyway, I just thought it would help me get a prespective on how others dealt with this.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 3:36pm

Hi, Tami! Love your sig line! Have you been to the

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 3:41pm

Like Chris says, if you find yourself in the same place, just act with respect and dignity.

PAMELA

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2004
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 4:24pm

Hi Pam & Chris, first off, yes I am a member on the NG families board and I love it there, the ladies are awesome,understanding and I'm gonna need their support when Bill is deployed in Jan. I need you guys as well for the whole, second marriage,stepchildren,and blending families support ! Now, as for my questions, I will always treat his ex with respect, I truely do want us to be "friends" for the children, it would make things easier. However, from what he has told me, that isn't gonna happen.....so, I'm just trying to plan ahead and I can only be responsible for myself and my own actions. I really do want this to work and I want the kids to know that I love them but respect their mother and will never try to be that to them (by taking her place etc) So thanks again for your support. I will just try to go about this day by day as it unfolds. Thanks ladies !

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 05-11-2004 - 12:30pm
"Friends" usually isn't possible, but friendly will work.