All I can say is WHy so upset

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
All I can say is WHy so upset
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 2:42pm
i posted alittle bit ago about BF stbx in the hosp. well she is fine, getting out todya, anyways last night he tells me he is confused, its been almsot 3 yrs since they have been separtated, have no idea where this is coming from because we are very much in love but he told me when he was sitting with her at the hosp, he was talking to her like they used to before the affairs, and hes confused becasue hes in love with me but thinking "what if" with her, im so hurt cause i basically no this is the end, cause i dont no if i can get past this, today he took off to try to sort out his feelings. i feel like im sitting here waiting fo rhim to choose and i just cant understand last week we were looking for houses together
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 3:08pm

Honey, remember the old saying about "If you love someone, set them free. If they comes back to you, they

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 3:45pm

Chris is right.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2004
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 4:36pm

Hi honeyap, I'm so sorry to hear the heartache in your post. I know it is confusing and hard to go through this, but I agree with Pam & Chris, if you truely love him, let him go and let him find what he needs. He has a past history with his ex and probably seeing her in the hospital so sick has brought up some of those "feel" good times. Let him work through it, but make sure he knows that you are not just "Sitting" there waiting for him while he does it (if that is what you want) You can even give him a span of time that you will gladly take him back and then if he still isn't ready, it will be time for you to move on. There is no reason to keep hurting yourself if he is unsure of what he wants. Remember happiness comes from within. Big hugs to you sweetie.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2004
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 4:34pm
Honey, I agree with Pam and others. One thought to consider, it has helped me tremendously to survive heartbreaks in the past: it's better to know this indecision of his now rather than later, e.g. after you guys bought a house, married, have kids, etc. But once he makes a decision, to be with either you or his stbx, he must not turn back and change his mind. If he does, no matter how tempting, leave him because:

1. if he's swaying back and forth more than once, you can't guarantee that he won't do that in the future.

2. he simply doesn't deserve you/your love.

Keep your chin up. Focus on yourself first, YOU are your first priority. He clearly puts his happiness on top of yours in this case.