Am i crazy or what?
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|Wed, 05-21-2003 - 7:17pm|
After i left, i was going out every weekend dancing, something i never did growing up. I got plenty of phone numbers, but never gave mine out. If a guy kept hounding me for it i would just end up telling him,'look, i'm 32, live at home with my parents and am going through a divorce'. That would usually get rid of them, haha. I wanted nothing to do with a man. But one night i'm out dancing with my girlfriends and i meet my soulmate.
Yes, the one person i thought i would never meet. the one that causes my heart to flutter everytime i talk to him or see him. I didn't believe in all that lovey-dovey stuff, just because it had never happened to me before. But in the back of my mind, i knew that such relationships existed, because i knew of a couple who did truly seem to still be in love years later. So here i am now, 7 months after meeting him, ready to move in and get married. I mean, leave my job and move to where he lives (Oer an hour away). I hate leaving him on the weekends and can't wait for Fridays to get here. We are like two peas in a pod. Our families love each of us and think we are great together.
We have discussed marriage and are starting to renovate his house. We each want to get our small bills paid off before we get married,but it is killing us to be apart. I guess what my post is all about is:
Has anyone ever felt like this, like you truly found your soulmate then got married and it all went to H$$L? I am so scared, but i know that my bf is a hard worker, is responsible and is my soulmate. Also, what is a soulmate? Is it for real or am i fooling my self over this. He is 39 and has been married twice. His first wife cheated on him for years and his second wife liked to start arguments when his children came over, to the point that they stopped coming over. So he is scared also about this.
I don't want to say i am confused about this, but some people say "life is short, if your happy - enjoy it". While others say "OMG, take your time and date for a few years". DATE for a few years, I CAN'T do that, it would kill me. Were you all prepared for a second marriage? I know i wasn't for my first, but at least now i kind of know what married life is like.
Am i crazy for talking marriage to someone i've only seen for 7 months now? I mean, I really believe that he is the one for me, but what if my mind is just clouded for some reason. I always worry about what people think about me, but now i think: they didn't live my life so why care about what they say or think. I am almost 33, not 18.
I don't have any unresolved feelings for my x-dh,ex as of April 1. I didn't miss him when i left. I missed the pets and my lost baby. I think i got over the loss of my marriage before i actually left, if that makes any sense. After my miscarriage i saw what he really thought of me and my eyes got opened, big time!! It's hard for me to put down in words what i'm trying to say, but i thought that if any one might understand me, it would be someone from this board. If you are still reading, thanks. I look forward to hearing anything from anyone.