Am I overeacting?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2006
Am I overeacting?
Fri, 06-04-2010 - 1:43pm

so first the background....neighbor G moved in 6 months ago. He has become good friends with DH to the point DH spends a lot of time next door. G gets a GF about 3 months ago. DH now goes next door even more, looks out the window every time he hears her car, which granted it's the only car they have, also my eyebrows are light so I darken them he knows I'm sensitive about this, he made a joke about it when I did go over there. I'll admit a little jealousy as when she first started coming around I had put on 10 lbs( I've since lost 5...yay me) and DH must have said 20 times that she was just a little thing. Whenever I said he goes over there all the time he said that I'm welcome to come whenever I want...I have an 8you DD at home and a new dog so I don't go over all the time...So...

I have talked to him about the jealousy and what I felt was a lack of attn on his part. I explained that I wouldn't feel so jealous if he were paying more attn to me. He has been better.

Last night G gets into a motorcycle accident a few blocks from the house and is taken to the ER. His GF comes to our house before going to the hospital to tell DH about the accident. She pulls up honks, when no one came out she knocked on the door. Crying, obviously upset. DH goes outside to talk to her. We originally thought it was DD knocking so I was in the other room.

Am I the only one who finds this weird? Wouldn't you go to the hosp first then worry about telling anyone? She's only known DH 3 months....

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 06-04-2010 - 2:46pm
Yes, I think it's kind of odd--did she want your DH to drive her to the hosp. or did she just think he would be concerned about his friend? The thing is that you say he was good friends w/ G & went to his house a lot before the GF was around--so that would make me less suspicious. However, sometimes I think women do have a gut feeling about these things. I think maybe you should make a little more effort to go & visit them as a couple, or have them over to your house so you can make your presence known, or make sure there are things for you & your DH to do together so he's not over there all the time. What did he used to do w/ G before the GF? Were they drinking, watching sports, etc.-was there something that he liked to do w/ G that he couldn't do at home? Or was he just bored?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2002
Sat, 06-05-2010 - 9:24am

Just to weigh in on your poll....


Avatar for johannacc
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2003
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 9:40pm

In my experience , listen to your instincts. I'm not saying that you need to go Glen Close on your DH and boil some bunnies, but listen to what your gut is saying. Your DH probably IS attracted to your neighbor's GF, flirts whatever and it seems she appreciates the attention. But would he act on it? I wouldn't know. Has she ever been married before? Kids?

Another thing is since you've made it known that you are uncomfortable with his attention to her (even if it's silly), he should honor it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2006
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 11:51am

Thanks for all the replies...

The Gf came to our house from work, she doesn't live next door. She came before she went to the ER and had to go way out of her way. Then she pulls up and honks, when no one came she came to the door. DH thought it was DD, who lives with her mom, at the door. Even when the girl was going back to her car DH went out and called her. This is very unlike him. I told him I was uncomfortable with how comfortable he is with her. I also told DH if I'm in an accident he better get to the hosp before he worries about telling anyone.

DH only met G like 6 months ago so it's not like they are life long friends. He also goes over there more since the GF has come into the picture. I thought mostly he goes out of boredom. I have an 8 yo DD that takes up a lot of time when I get home so I can't always go. I have no problems with his and G's friendship.

I'm going to get to the heart of this with him tonight. I'm going to tell him I think he has a crush on her and we need to handle it. I do think he's been taking me for granted.

Thanks again.

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 12:19pm

Aparently my post got lost in cyberspace.