The choices we make in thought, word and deed inevitably return to us in kind.
I think this is a great article. When I was dealing w/ the bipolar ex and he would get irrationally angry, I found it very difficult to separate myself from that, even though intellectually I knew that in part, he did not have complete control of his emotions due to his illness. If you read books on bipolar, they always say "don't take the anger & outbursts personally." HA! Way easier said than done because it still feels bad to have someone angry & yelling at you. I do think it's pretty wise advice to say that in those circumstances you don't have to sit there and take it, though--you can remove yourself from the situation.
Now of course, after I just posted about my "black and whiteness", I needed put attach some other thoughts to this post...I recently read a book that discussed (at least the emotionally dependent/free part) and while I thought I had processed it, it is clear that I haven't...the part you have highlighted about the emotional piece, fits a few things in my situation...
SO and I have been together almost 5 years...My divorce was very difficult (and involved the ex having an affair)
Well ladies, you all know me well enough to know I had to find something bigger then myself to jump all of the dependency hurdles.
Yes, it does
I don't think there is anything wrong with not going to every ball game.
That was one of the first things my Therapist asked me.