Christmas question ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2011
Christmas question ?
9
Thu, 12-01-2011 - 7:17am

I am am recently married for the second time. My husband and I have been together for over three years. This is our fourth Christmas Together.He has no children And I have three. My H and I have separate finances...He makes more than double of what I do. ..Every year he buys all the Christmas presents for my kids...he knows money is always tight for me and has always done this..without even asking me. He will just ask me to make a list or we will go together and shop and he pays. I feel extremely blessed that he does this ! ..BUT ..at the same time..I always feel

Malea

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
Thu, 12-01-2011 - 8:35am

You are not alone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 12-01-2011 - 10:37am

Are you feeling guilty more because your 2nd DH is giving you money to buy gifts for your kids or that your ex makes more than you do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Thu, 12-01-2011 - 11:31am

Maybe think of it as he's doing this for the team - the team of you and him!

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Thu, 12-01-2011 - 12:07pm

I like what Sienna said.

Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Fri, 12-02-2011 - 9:35am

You're not failing your kids, you're enriching their lives because you've brought what sounds like a wonderful man into their lives that enjoys being

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Fri, 12-02-2011 - 1:36pm

Maybe he is doing it because he loves the children and enjoys seeing them happy on Christmas morning.

Maybe he does it because it is a gift to you - he understands that if he spent a thousand dollars on some bauble for you and your kids had nothing to open, that wouldn't make you happy.

Maybe you are a family and he loves having one...

My wonderful step mother chose our presents with great care each year.

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Fri, 12-02-2011 - 1:50pm
Well said, Happy.
Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2011
Fri, 12-02-2011 - 2:18pm

Thank you all for the good words of advice. I am going to stop beating myself up over this..-) To my DH ..he loves my kids like his own..and I have said something to him about it before....and he assured me that he loves me and the kids and likes doing stuff for both of us.-)

Malea

Looking to work from home ? Ask me how :

www.askmalea.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2002
Sat, 12-03-2011 - 11:06am
Yes---very well said.

Another way to look at it----you could re-arrange your finances so that he was paying a greater percentage each month, and you less, and you saved the difference for xmas gifts-----same thing in the end.

But I think the way Happy expressed it is better :).

Have a good holiday :)