Crazy ex problems
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|Wed, 05-12-2004 - 8:50pm|
The only disagreement we ever have is his ex wife. That woman is the most controlling person I have ever known. I can't stand her, he knows it but I do not show it to his daughter. The daughter thinks that we should be "one big happy family", inviting her mom for holidays and such. The woman has NO friends and there is good reason for that. She does have family that are near, I say she should have her holidays with them. The daughter knows that her mom has no friends and feels sorry for her.
They divorced when the daughter was out of high school and before she started college. They hadn't lived together for 2 years prior. The mom insisted on a visitation schedule and the judge agreed on it. How many of you have a visitation schedule for a kid over 18? Also, in the state where they divorced, child support continues until the kid is out of college, but, you can request that the child get it directly and not the parent. That is what he did so she would have living money at school. The mom was livid. She gets it anyway by charging her daughter a storage fee for storing her belongings that she couldn't take to school. When the daughter is home, she must buy all the groceries with her money and do all the cooking.
The woman abuses her daughter and it drives me crazy. She also abused her ex husband, my fiance'. He drank to deal with it, he quit after the divorce. Doesn't take a rocket scientist, does it? Problem is, they are so used to her going off, they will do anything to pacify her.
Daughter came home from college and she made her strip down so she could check for any tattoos or body piercings. And the daughter does it! Can't upset mom.
Daughter's car broke down, car is only worth about $1000 when running. She called her mom (car in moms name)and told her that she would be willing to spend $500 on repairing it and no more. Mom calls the repair shop and ok's $800 + and tells daughter that she won't help her pay for it. Then tells her that if she agreed to stay with her all summer and help around the house, she'll help some. Daughter was planning on spending part of the summer with her dad.
The dad tries to let the daughter make choices on the visitation, doesn't force her into any of it. Then he is hurt when the daughter chooses mom when it is his time, just to keep mom happy. It breaks my heart to see him hurt. He feels that she loves mom more than him. I told him that mom is just a squeeky wheel and gets all the oil.
It drives me crazy that no one will stand up to this woman. They tell me that I just don't understand how she is. What I understand is they have been conditioned for many years and are afraid of making a stand. The daughter made a comment about liking a TV show because it was true to life, family arguing and bickering all the time. It saddens me to think that is all she knows and thinks that everyone is like that.
Anyone else been thru this kind of thing? I don't want to spend the rest of my life like this. There is much more but this post is long enough for now.