feels like my personality has changed ..
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|Sun, 07-11-2010 - 11:19pm|
You know ... I've been through some big changes in my life. Changed jobs a lot - moved around a lot ... and some of those changes have felt pretty BIG - life-changing BIG.
But ... I feel like - since I've gotten divorced ... I have changed so deeply and so profoundly ... it's almost like I'm not ME anymore :-( I used to be so passionate and ... almost kind of spazzy. Always had ideas in my head of fun and exciting things to do. Always trying new things. I was SO adventurous. So CURIOUS! I wanted to TRAVEL and see the world!!! I wanted to climb mountains and run marathons ...
... I think a part of it may have been dissatisfaction. Seeking and striving.
And now ... it's like I just want to be safe. I want to belong somewhere. I used to put SO MUCH into my friendships - always going out to lunch, making time for my friends. Now ... I don't want to put in the effort. I don't even really care what other people are doing. I just want to do my own thing.
I feel a little bit shut down. Maybe tired. Maybe distrustful.
I was always so ambitious at work, trying to be noticed and recognized. Now I just want to go in, do a good job, head-down - and come home.
It's not like I'm depressed ... I'm not. It's just that I feel very deeply CHANGED. I moved to a new town after my divorce, and I haven't made much of an effort at all to make new friends. This is NOT LIKE ME! I've always been the person with lots and LOTS of friends. Always doing something on a Friday night.
I don't really feel sad about this - I guess I really just don't care.
Did any of you have a deep personality change after your divorce? I feel like I don't even know who I am anymore. Not all of the changes are bad ... it's just striking to me - who I used to be - compared to who I am now. It's like I went from extrovert to introvert.
I was divorced over a year ago. I used to be a "risk-taker" not afraid of making a goof of myself, always trying something new - now I go for the sure-thing.
I used to be ... almost defiant ... kind of opinionated and a little sassy - now I'm quiet and almost submissive. Not wanting to make waves. Things that used to get me so excited and interested ... I don't even care about anymore.
I guess I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced this? Some of it has been good - but I just feel like things are so different now.