Finances

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
Finances
43
Tue, 11-08-2011 - 4:56pm

I read not long ago that the reason second marriages fail is two-fold - kids and money.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2011
Wed, 11-09-2011 - 9:45am

I got nothing for you, but I am curious as to what some answers are to this.

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Wed, 11-09-2011 - 12:15pm

First, I think that is why so many second marriages include separate checking accounts.

Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
Wed, 11-09-2011 - 3:22pm

Serenity,

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Wed, 11-09-2011 - 4:31pm
Maybe a financial adviser of some sort would help. Black and white suggestions from a third, unaffected party. You would just have to remember that what is good for the goose, is good for the gander, so it always possible he may make suggested changes for you, also.

Just a thought.....

My SO is also the saver. Ugh... I am not a big spender either, but SO isn't real big on spending plans (budgeting), either. SO also doesn't like seeing things in black and white. He just writes me a check every month. "Just tell me what half is." That is all he wants to know. :)
Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 11-09-2011 - 9:27pm

First I have to disagree that there is anything that is necessarily different about this generation--I have a 22 yr old DD who graduated from college last May--yes she did move home, but aside from providing a free place for her to live, she pays for her own expenses.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 11-09-2011 - 9:42pm

As I was saying above, when I married my 2nd DH, we combined our paychecks into one bank acct. I had done that w/ first marriage so I figured (like your DH) that's what you should do if you got

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
Wed, 11-09-2011 - 10:46pm

I am in total agreement with everything you say about separate accounts, but can't convince dh of it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2011
Thu, 11-10-2011 - 9:57am

Wow, from reading all of this, I think a seperate account would be necessary just to maintain my sanity. I need to find out SO's stance on this, as we are long distance, right now it is not an issue.

My good friend is on her second marriage. Initially she kept her account and wrote him a check once a month. Since then,she gave it up and now her check in direct deposited into their joint account. Bad move on her part, as he no longer works, but has access to her money, She is so stressed I don;t kow why she hasn;t left him, other than the fact that she says she doesn't want to be a "two time failure". But that is off topic :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
Thu, 11-10-2011 - 12:35pm

Sanity.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2011
Fri, 11-11-2011 - 9:08am

I tihnk you will get to "Happyville" sooner than you think, you seem to have a good perspective on things, which is something my friend does not! She is going backwards, while you ove forward and see light at the end of the tunnel :)

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