Finances

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
Finances
43
Tue, 11-08-2011 - 4:56pm

I read not long ago that the reason second marriages fail is two-fold - kids and money.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
Fri, 11-11-2011 - 12:02pm

I hope you're right.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2011
Mon, 11-14-2011 - 12:11am

Hi,I just found this board. I don't really have an answer for you . ...I am strugling with the same issue right now . I have three children..one is 18 and in college. My husband has no children. He is very generous about giving my kids stuff but does get frusterated sometimes with my 18 year old aksing for stuff all the time. I really am not sure what the answer is. I have started to budget a certain amount to give my son each pay period and tell him that is all he gets until the next payday...if anyone else has any suggestions /advice for this...it would be great..

Malea

Malea

Looking to work from home ? Ask me how :

www.askmalea.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2011
Mon, 11-14-2011 - 9:31am

For now, if anything we are in the opposite situation, because we live 5 hours apart. He makes a lot more than I do (runs his own business) and he gets frustrated because I won't take money from him. He feels like I don't have faith in "us" when I tell him I have to be able to support myself and my kids on what I make. Now, I am not dumb, he pays for travel and stuff that I can;t take out of my budget, but still, my money is mine :)

And we just had a great weekend together, well it was only Saturday, and he got

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Mon, 11-14-2011 - 11:22am
Welcome to the board, Malea.

I think having a budget for your DS18 is a great idea. Even when we are able to help our college students, it is important that they don't think we are a blank check. They need to learn how to budget just like we do. :)

We are trying that at home with SO's DS17. Although I think he should be driving and working, he gets an allowance mainly for the purpose of learning the value of a dollar and how to budget. Same with my DD11. She has a savings account that is for when she is 16 and will need a car and insurance. I had to open it with $25.00 and she has deposited $13.00 into it so far. She fills out the slip, goes to the counter and everything.

Hope you stick around.
Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 11-14-2011 - 2:50pm

As the parent of 2 kids (22 & 16) I don't think it's a good idea to indulge an 18 yr old who is always asking for things.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 11-14-2011 - 2:51pm

I think you are very smart not to be getting into a situation where you are depending on your BF for money before you are married or living together.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
Mon, 11-14-2011 - 4:26pm

Malea,

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
Mon, 11-14-2011 - 4:48pm

Dee,

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2011
Mon, 11-14-2011 - 4:51pm

Its funny to see how people who didn;t go to college react to helping kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2011
Mon, 11-14-2011 - 4:56pm

A weekend to yourselves, that doesn;t happen often for you! I am glad it was a good one :) We rarely have back to back weekends, this is a real treat.

I tihnk sine we are startng off so completely seperate it will be easier to keep it that way. Its a topic we have touched on briefly, as it will be years before we could be together full time, and I would still work, Basically since he pays all of his household bills now, he would continue to do so, and my money would be our "fun money" along with my "kids" money. But thats so far off in the fiture, it doesn;t even seem real.