Financial Woes

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Financial Woes
24
Thu, 12-16-2010 - 12:25pm

Hope to get some good advice on this financial stuff...

When i'm getting all the child support that i'm suppose to get, plus my income, i can pay the bills and run a household just fine. I didn't expect much as far as financial contribution from DF. Nevertheless, when he moved in.... i don't think i was unreasonable to think he'd start contributing more... and he has ..... to some degree.

Then, in September, my ex lost his job which meant

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Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Thu, 12-16-2010 - 2:13pm

Oh Looney....I don't even know where to start....

My SO and xH are both contractors in the construction business.

Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Thu, 12-16-2010 - 6:08pm
thanks. it is such a big help justing knowing that I'm not the only person that this happens to... big help!
Loonybunny
Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Thu, 12-16-2010 - 7:47pm

Bella has

Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2005
Thu, 12-16-2010 - 7:54pm

Have you tried, instead, to just tell him you need X amount every month regardless of what you actually need? i.e. basically give him a figure he knows to give you every month. Not what is left over, or what he has. But tell him, just like if he rented his own place or had a mortgage, making sure you have a roof over your head comes first and foremost. So, if he gave you, X amount every month, the rest is his to do with as he pleases.

That way, you're not in a bind, even when EX gets a job again, or whatevers. When EX starts contributing CS again, put your DF's money in a savings or what not and either save it for a rainy day, or use it for the both of you.

Just some thoughts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
Thu, 12-16-2010 - 9:16pm

thats a good idea - its basically what we did for the first 1.5 yrs and it worked good for us. My DF looked at it like this is what he would be paying in rent somewhere.

mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 12-17-2010 - 11:12am

I'm going to agree w/ Cheryl on this one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Fri, 12-17-2010 - 4:58pm

Thanks for all the feedback. We talked more last night and tried to find a "meet in the middle" solution. He can verbally tell me where all his money goes, so that was a good thing. I'm the one who needs it on paper so i can see a it in a budget. Talking about it last night helped me visualize his budget, even if it isn't his style to put it on paper. I was able to get a sense of how much money he'd be pitching in for food/gas and stuff like that....

ANNOUNCEMENT: Then he called me today to propose another solution to our woes. His father inherited his grandparents house. DF has always wanted to live in that house but it needs a little work before it is livable (new roof etc). DF had mentioned it to me

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2008
Fri, 12-17-2010 - 5:08pm
I definitely will a bit later...
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2008
Fri, 12-17-2010 - 5:10pm
I would say get a bit more information about the house and what financial obligations there could be and who would really own it? But maybe it is a step in the right direction...
Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Fri, 12-17-2010 - 6:00pm

I know you refer to him as DF, but are you actively planning a wedding?

Serenity

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